My mom and me were just chatting at the kitchen table while I was on my laptop just replying to messages and what not. A couple hours later, my dad comes over out of nowhere and says in a very demanding tone “Go to the other table, you are not studying”. My mom leaves immediately and I just stay sitting there because there was no point in leaving. It was a Saturday and there was no homework, school only started less than a week ago. I wanted to appreciate my free time left so I was chilling on my laptop while chatting with my mom.
He goes on and says in a more aggressive tone “IT’S GRADE 12, YOU MUST BE STUDYING WHAT ARE YOU DOING SLEEPING IN TILL 11AM, BEING ALL RELAXED?” And I at first try to calmly explain to him that I didn’t have anything to study for currently. I will admit, I soon got agitated as he was speaking to me in a very rude and aggressive way. I slapped the table in anger while trying to explain my point and that’s when everything went downhill.
He grabs a plate that’s on the table and slams it down, breaking the plate into many pieces. But the plate hit my laptop and completely took away a corner of my laptop and left cracks and dents in it. Even my airpod case has a dent in it from the impact. There was glass everywhere. I am only grateful no glass hit me.
That’s when I lose my shit and I go crazy on him, calling him every insult and swears in the book because I HAD PAID FOR THAT $800 LAPTOP with my own money and he nearly destroyed it. My dad cares ALOT about my education and grades to the point where he wants me to have no friends so I can use all my time studying instead. He keeps arguing saying that it was my fault since I should not have disrespected him by slapping the table and raising my voice to talk back. He believes that he is always right and that the kid should always respect parents no matter what which I strongly disagree with.
This wasn’t the first time we had a crazy argument like this, and now this has put a strain in our father-daughter relationship. Helpful advice much needed. Thank you.
2 comments
He sounds like a narcissist, not much you can do until your old enough to move out and live on your own. As far as the laptop goes see if you can find somewhere that can fix it or ask him to replace it; if he cares so much about your education and wants you to study so badly he needs to replace the equipment that he damaged.
This sounds like a classic case of, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”.
Yelling back & escalating arguments never works, in any situation whether it’s a parent, an elder or your peer. You automatically lose any advantage you might have had in the sense of being right.
I was also brought up fairly strictly in that my parents deserved respect; that didn’t make them right but it did mean that I didn’t ignore them, & certainly didn’t raise my voice AT them, much less resort to name calling or insults.