To explain, i(M25) am ‘new in town. Recently i met a girl (F27) at an event where strangers meet to make friends. We exchanged numbers and after a few days of texting i asked if she wanted to meetup over coffee. She agreed. When i got there we spent about 30 minutes talking and then she casually mentioned her Boyfriend to my surprise. My intention was that it was a coffee date but obviously she saw it as completely platonic. I wasnt offended and we kept talking for another hour. She even invited me to hangout with her friends and i went and even met her boyfriend. No harm no foul.
Looking back at it, i did find it weird she would agree to the coffee meetup and that the boyfriend was cool with it. I dont even know if the boyfriend knew about it to be honest. I feel like for a lot of people this is a huge no.
Is it weird or was it out of line that i hung out alone with a girl that has a boyfriend?
4 comments
You didn’t do anything wrong. Her relationship and its boundaries are for her to manage.
No. Believe it or not, some people actually trust their SO, and it sounds like she was just looking for more friends to add to her group or looking to help someone new in town to make friends. The coffee date was just to gauge if you threw any obvious red flags before she introduced you to her friends.
Nope. I know it’s shocking (/s), but some people don’t look at someone’s gender when looking for friends. No harm no foul
At first I was going to say yes, it is weird. But if you met her at an event that was specifically for making friends, then it should have came as no surprise that that’s what she was trying to do.
M/F platonic friendships can be complicated. Often in these friendships, one person, usually the guy, has feelings for the other and is waiting for that person to fall in love with them. But that doesn’t have to be the case. And for guys looking to date, having females friends definitely helps, as long as you understand boundaries and avoid developing feelings for your off-limits female friend. Get your own girlfriend.