I’m (24F) in my first relationship with my beautiful girlfriend and when we have sex, I’m usually the bottom – I prefer that role and I’m also woefully inexperienced so is easier for me 😅.
She typically prefers to top and is pretty much a touch-me-not, but every now and then she wants me to dominate and be possessive. I don’t have the slightest clue how to do that as have never topped in my life and I worry I’m just being repetitive and boring when I try. Also, she has issues with letting go of control so I’m worried about taking things too far if I get carried away 😟. Also, are they ways I can be more dominant and possessive out of a sex context?
More experienced lesbians and sapphics, please advise!
2 comments
First, it would be helpful to know what she means by ‘dominate and be possessive’ – does she just want you to take charge? Or is she into more kinky stuff like restraints, impact play etc? You’ll need to ask her.
When taking on a domme role it’s *good*, at least to an extent, to worry about going too far. It might seem like the opposite of what you’d expect from the ‘dominant’ partner, but you should keep checking in with her a lot, especially if what you’re doing is new to you both. The traffic light system is good: green means keep going, amber means everything’s okay but be careful (ie don’t go any further) and red means stop. Over time you’ll learn where her limits are.
As for what to actually do, you could try things like: putting her in whatever position you like (or telling her to get into that position), you could be rough with her if she’s into that (scratching is a good way to introduce some entry-level pain play), squeeze her nipples, push her legs apart with your hands or knees, pull her hair (grab near the scalp, it’s less painful). I tend not to go in with a specific plan, I just find that inspiration strikes me in the moment! You’ll get more comfortable the more you practice 🙂
You could try groping. Get a handful of her ass, or her tits while she is doing something else. Be possessive about it, “this is mine and for me to enjoy” type of deal. Teasing can work wonders too. Subtle touches, flashes, suggestions… Make her stew and needy.