So my girlfriend of 7 years and I have run into some intimacy problems. We used to be intimate with each other multiple times a day and if not at least once / twice a week on the weekend when she’s not working.
Recently (since around January) she has seemed not just uninterested in being intimate but with me in general. I’ve talked to her 3 times from January to today about our problems because to me intimacy is a must for me in a relationship.(I do not expect it and if something is wrong with her emotionally or mentally I understand which is why her and I are still together right now).
She has had a rough year she lost her/our dog of 14 years in may and her grandmother was very sick but just made a miraculous recovery and is all good now. The entire year she’s been feeling down due to get being in the last year of an 8 year University program and being very stressed about it so I have been trying to help her as much as possible (doing all house cleaning, dishes , cooking, laundry, planning nice nights out us, planning nice nights in since we can’t always go out and bringing home and making special treats when she’s not expecting it) which I know does not entitle me to anything sexual but Even other forms of affection would be nice like a hug or a “thanks for cleaning” before going to bed.
When we are intimate it’s not great for ether of us since I’m so “excited” as soon as it’s started it’s over even without penetration as I can’t even hold out that long so I know she is not feeling fulfilled that way and if I try to do other things to her (with hand or mouth) she seems to not want any part in it even though 1-2 years ago it was all she wanted. The only time I see her body now is if she’s getting changed (we share a bedroom apparment) and it makes me feel like a creep so I try not to look but I only look because love her and her body and think she’s beyond beautiful.
I’m feeling really confused and don’t know how to fix this problems, talking to her does not help as she keeps saying she doesnt know how to fix it.
we are about to take a 3 week vacation to Italy together (leaving tomorrow) and I’d quite frankly love to be able to plan romantic nights for us while we are there. I would really prefer not to have 3 weeks in a very romantic country that involves no intimate time together. I guess I’m just asking for everybody’s take on this and what I can do while we are on our trip to be able to add some spice back to our sex life.
2 comments
Couple’s Therapy my dude. This probably cannot be fixed without professional help.
Have you ever had a conversation with her about this? Sexual intimacy is a big deal for a lot of people and I think you need to advocate for yourself. There is nothing you can do to that will just flip her libido back to normal without communicating with her.