I know that’s a weird way of wording it but it’s the only way I could think of.
I(19f) have been talking to a guy (22m) for about 8 months now, things are going really well and I definitely think I’m falling for him and he’s said the same, but I’m really struggling with anything sexual. It’s not like I don’t want to because I really do, I have for a long time and we’ve tried but even just kissing I start panicking and freaking out. He’s been great about it and hasn’t tried to pressure me at all, but I don’t know how much longer he’ll wait.
It doesn’t help that we’re almost never alone somewhere private because he lives with a roommate who never goes out and I live at home, and there’s almost always someone there too. So I guess I’m looking for some advice on how I can get over the panicking, and suggestions for how or where to get time alone not in public.
2 comments
If he lives with a roommate try going in his room and playing music, you’re still not totally alone, but it’ll help. I would personally feel anxious trying hook up while I lived at home, so I’d vote for his house.
If you’re panicking because this is the first person you’ve been intimate with, this is totally normal, and you need to be patient with yourself. It seems like this guy is being patient and understanding with you which is good to hear.
I might recommend starting with touches to help ease you into getting used to physical intimacy. Touch his arms, chest, thigh, and encourage him to do the same with you so you can get comfortable with his touch. Making out was super nerve-wracking for me, but what I’ll say and what maybe is not very helpful to hear is that your body just knows what to do (this is the same with sex, if/when you get to that point).
If you’re worried about what he thinks just know that if he’s into you (and it sounds like he is) he’ll be super happy with whatever is happening and will enjoy it, even if you feel like you’re not quite sure of yourself (in terms of technique not comfort, if you’re not comfortable, please stop and talk to him). You are both young and it should be fun to learn with each other what works for you both. Be safe and good luck! Please feel free to reply to my comment if you have follow-up.
Well, remember that there is nothing to be afraid of if you both love each other and consent. Just keep calm and let your man pleasure you. For the place, perhaps you could just check in for a hotel for only one night or just do it somewhere secluded that you know.