So I posted some time ago about my social anxiety getting worse once again and being out of meds which made it even worse. I said that I missed my psych appointment because I was too anxious to go.
Well now im here, still without meds and too embarrassed to go see my psych again after ditching her, not in touch with any of my (now ex i guess?) friends because I couldn’t force myself to text them back. I literally had like 5 close friends two months ago and now I have none and it’s my own fucking fault.
I also need to open an email from my psychiatrist because she send me a list of therapists that she thinks would be good for me and it’s pretty clear that I desperately need help so checking out that list is a start. The thing is i can’t fucking do it I just can’t, I tell myself everyday that today is the day I’m gonna get my shit together and respond and apologize to everyone but I start shaking and literally can’t breath when I think about doing that and then I just give up. This is one of the worst points I’ve even been at and I don’t know how to get better because obviously every form of getting help requires some sort of social interaction and I’m not capable of that atm. I know how terrible that sounds and that im being awful to everyone around me but it’s not on purpose Im just genuinely not able to talk to people currently.
2 comments
What are you afraid of? That they’re all mad at you? They ain’t. At most they probably just wondered why you didn’t answer, but then moved on to other things. It’s ok to check, and it’s ok to reply, nothing horrible will happen. Really, it’s ok.
Could you copy and paste this post and send it to your psychiatrist?