So my uni friend and I had become super close last year and hung out all of the time. I went back to my hometown for the summer months to see my family and work, so we were only able to hang out once this summer. The day I arrive to my uni city, I texted my uni friend and told them that I was back. They expressed their excitement about me coming back, but never initiated any plans. I didn’t initiate plans at the time because I wanted a bit of alone time and my boyfriend was coming back from vacation and I wanted to see him. I saw my friend in class and all we did was say hi, they sat their other friends and I sat alone. They texted me afterwards and said let’s hang out soon and asked what my schedule was like, but never initiated any plans to hang out. I assumed they were just busy as they have a very busy schedule this year, but I saw where they have hanging out with other people, and I’ve been feeling rather shitty about it ever since. Did I do something wrong? Should I have initiated the plans to hang out? I feel really shitty and confused about this whole situation ngl
4 comments
If it were me I’d be really upfront with the person and ask them directly if there’s a problem because obviously there is. Or they’re just a huge asshole
I’d have assumed them asking when your schedule was free IS the initiation of a conversation to hang out.
Also, it’s a two way street. Your upset at them for something you don’t seem willing to do either?
I don’t know what the full conversation was like but I think your friend asking for your schedule was them trying to make plans. I always ask my friends similar questions and see if we can come to a date that suits us both instead of me having to guess when they might be free. If you want to hang out with your friend then you need to message them, in my opinion from what you’ve written, it seems like they have messaged you twice now about hanging out and nothing has happened so they are waiting for you to initiate.
It sounds like they’ve strongly hinted they want to hang out but you’re not picking up on it. The ball’s in your court now, just ask them to hang out – like someone else said it’s a two way street.