So, I had my heart broken for the very first time in April. I dated this guy for about a year and he was emotionally unavailable and I was head over heals in love with him. One day I decided I needed some answers and to know how he felt about me, we had an “argument” and I called things off and ask him to not message me again. And so he did. We never talked again, I’ve never saw him again. The very first man I (25F) ever loved.
But life moves on and since then I decided to invest on myself and I am doing the very best I can, and turns out I’ve been really happy. I do miss him, but I am happy. The thing is that now maybe I’ve become the emotionally unavailable one. I’ve never went on a second date with a guy since, doesn’t matter if I had a good date. I just start creating excuses and focusing on little things the other person did that annoyed me. And in the last couple months I just didn’t dated at all.
I miss sex SO MUCH. So so so much. But I can’t enjoy it with others. It’s never close to what it was with him.
I can’t even IMAGINE falling in love with someone again. It is weird for me to think about hugging and being intimate, in the non-sexual way too, with other person. Sometimes, all though a lot less common than before, I really wish I could talk to him.
I don’t want to be stuck in the past. I don’t want to save for someone who, turns out, did not care about my feelings, all the love I still hold for him. Does anyone have an advice to give to this poor heartbroken girl?
1 comment
Therapy. You clearly miss your ex. Time has moved on but you have not. If you’re unavailable but date without making that clear from the start you end up hurting someone who doesn’t deserve it. Don’t punish others for the mistakes of your ex. Stop the cycle.