I (17NB) has a friend (17M) that had recently opened up about how he feels lower than his twin brother when it comes to looks. It’s pretty obvious to me that he isn’t that confident and he doesn’t show off his charisma. I want to help him with it bit by bit.
He’s not an ugly person either, he’s very handsome and his personality is somewhat cute. Although I noticed that his twin is more charismatic and confident looking while my friend reminds me of a turtle that doesn’t wanna get out of it’s shell. He’s always slouching and leaning into people, the only time I’ve seen him show off his charismatic side is when we got into a photoshoot. I know he can show off his charisma but he just feels shy about it, any tips?
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Take him out to meet people. Include him in things. Make sure he feels welcome and included in group gatherings
When you say “NB,” is that with a vagina or a penis?
You can’t. Most people can’t artificially boost their own confidence unless they’re a narcissist. Your friend needs something to accomplish to help his confidence. With most teenagers their confidence is strongly benefitted by sports, academics or hobbies that they get very good at.
Him showing off his charisma is not going to give any long-term benefit. He needs to do something better than someone else, or accomplish something difficult. Confidence is best built through hard work and adversity. Attempting to give someone false or artificial confidence sets them up for future failure.
you said he became charismatic when he was in a photoshoot. maybe hype his instagram posts (doesn’t even have to be public, maybe a private message about it if instagram comments are not something you do), take some pictures of him when you’re hanging out and show him, compliment something about his appearance from time to time (like a new haircut, a cool t-shirt or shoes…)? idk if this would feel awkward for either of you, i (21f) find it normal to do this with my girlfriends but i understand that maybe some of these situations could be strange if one isn’t used to it.
my experience with these ‘words of affirmation’ is mostly with one friend who always says something nice about my appearance every time i see her. it isn’t just necessarily just about my looks, it can also be about my attitude. i receive compliments very badly, but after a time i started to realize that i would actually start to compliment myself every day and that would make me just a little happier. this has also made me in turn give compliments to other friends in the hopes that i can make them feel a little bit brighter. so i think that complimenting him on a regular basis may be a starting point for how he sees himself.
Keep reminding him he’s not the evil twin.
He isn’t, is he?
Take the adult approach: hit the gym (with actual programming, don’t just fuck around), eat better, limit social media, etc.