I’ve had quite a few sexual partners, a range of ages and levels of experience. Not one guy has been able to make me cum with their hands/mouth . My most recent partner (who i have been sleeping with for over a year) has slept with some of my friends, he’s been a complete fuck boy most his life and they all give him 5* reviews.
This man prides himself in the fact that he makes the girl finish AT LEAST once before he does. he will not give up until he makes her cum, however long that takes.
This man gives me the best foreplay, sex and aftercare that I could possibly wish for and I still don’t even get close to orgasm. In fact, in my life I’ve only ever orgasmed once with a man which was with a vibrator and took nearly an hour!!! By myself, even without toys, I last a couple mins max and I have a massive orgasm so I don’t know why I can’t with men and it’s really starting to impact me.
He really gets off to girls orgasming so I’ve got into a bad habit of faking it and now I can’t get out of it. I know it’s bad but I’m so embarrassed and I really don’t know what to do. I can use a vibrator myself while he’s fucking me and cum in a few minutes but he likes to do it himself and whilst it feels good I just can’t climax. I can’t do this forever and I’m so scared to have a conversation with him because it’s been so long and he just can’t know that I’ve been faking it.
I’m open to finding a new partner but I’m going to be facing the same issue and unsure how to approach it in a way that isn’t gonna be a mood killer or huge turnoff for the guy…
HELP!
4 comments
i’ve faked so much, sometimes i’m unsure if it’s a real orgasm or i’m faking it. i can relate to this on all levels. takes no time by myself, but it’s like i can’t relax enough to cum with a man.
i definitely believe this is a head issue. you are thinking about how you want to get off, and it’s preventing you to. for me, i also am worried he is WAITING on me to cum and that thought fucks it up completely for me. i also think it’s gonna take me too long so i just fake one instead.
this shit really does suck tho, glad i’m not alone
When I first started having sex, I wasn’t able to get off unless I was the one doing the work. I think it took like 4-5 years of sex and a handful of partners for me to get off. It was pretty frustrating and I think it was partly just because I knew how to orgasm so quickly that someone else just felt lame in comparison. (I will say once I was able to it got *way* easier and I hope the same ends up being true for you)
During those 4-5 years, I had a partner who liked to fuck until he was ready to come and then we’d lie next to each other and masturbate. Sometimes we’d touch each other, but usually we’d just make out and use our own hands. It was actually oddly intimate. Lots of simultaneous orgasms.
I think it would be worth suggesting to your current or a future partner. It’s not the same as him getting you there, but it may make him feel good if you guys are coming together. You could also use it as a teaching moment and put your hand over his so he learns the pressure/movements that you like.
I think the fact that you are able to get off somehow is a good sign that you’ll get there in the future. It can be a process of figuring out how to relax into someone else’s touch, then learning your body, etc.
I’ve learned I have to be totally relaxed, not worried, and be able to “let go” to have an orgasm with a partner. Adding toys that you use by yourself may help. And just open communication with whoever you’re having sex with about what you need. Now that I’ve been with my husband for years it’s so much easier to have an orgasm every time. It just took a little communication and practice. And someone who cares that I finish too.
Find a guy you can trust. A guy who will go through this journey with you. It’s not about his ego, although it is important he is persistent in his efforts to make you cum. Be honest with him. Or do the same with your current guy. Put your pleasure first for a while. If someone is going to have a reaction because you did not cum, then he’s not the right guy. He needs to understand that these things can take time. It’s not a race. It is a marathon. Pace yourself with a guy.