I was out in a club in spain when this girl approached me, offered me a drink (i insisted that i pay but she refused) and the whole time was touching me a lot (not in a bad way). Then we danced together and she even grinded on my dick for a while, and when we were face to face i asked her for a kiss. A that point she refused and i never saw her for the rest of the night. I talked with some of my friends because it was a strange interaction, something that never happened to me, and they said that it was my fault cause you should never ask a girl for a kiss if you’re dancing with her in a club. Are they right?
32 comments
Why would that be wrong?
It’s always nice to ask for consent to kiss someone. However maybe she just wanted to dance and didn’t want a kiss, which is fine too. There’s also a chance she was turned off by being asked because she felt it killed the spontaneity of the moment (I think this is kind of a dumb reason to be turned off but it’s still possible). Either way don’t overthink it.
Ya. Should just done it. I get it you’re wanting to be a gentleman. If you were dropping her off at her parents house after taking her to the carnival for you first date, asking for a kiss would be appropriate. But she was grinding your dick dude…..? Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Should just gone for it. She might have still walked away from you but at the very least she couldn’t get upset with you for being presumptuous.
Would you rather:
A) risk rejection
B) later find out you overstepped a boundary and made someone uncomfortable?
Don’t say “can i please kiss you?”
Say “kiss me” like you’re telling them. If they do then cool. If not then leave it alone.
Getting consent is never wrong. If you feel weird about asking, though, you can always say something like “I want to kiss you now.”
No one has ever asked if they could kiss me and I feel like I am always the one to grab a guys face and kiss them. I would dieeeeeeee if a man asked if he could kiss me, I think that’s so sweet. Even in a club whatever lol.
HELL no.
My ex was like this – I asked her if I could kiss her on our first date because consent is key, and she said no – Later in the night she grabbed me by the face and asked me why i didnt just KISS HER ( like what???? )
She said women don’t like being asked – but guess what, I’ve asked every girl I’ve kissed since her and they’ve all said yes and often they’ll say thank you for asking.
Consent is sexy, and just because this girl and my ex want to feel like the man just takes what he wants, the majority of women aren’t like that and will appreciate being made to feel like their opinions on whether or not you can kiss them MATTERS.
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Keep being a gentleman dude, don’t let this get you down king
No it’s not wrong. You did nothing wrong. Some may say it’s a vibe killer, and that’s all fine and dandy. But what you did speaks absolute volumes about what kind of person you are, and same to her. Don’t regret that someone that was absolutely not right for you walked.
Not wrong. I think it’s hot if a guy I’ve been flirting with all night ask me.
Maybe the phrasing was off?
If I were you I’d go for a confident “can I kiss you?”
Wait she came to you and you both started dancing and she grinded on your dick and then you asked her for kiss and she said no? WTF women now a days are so confusing 🤷🏽♂️🤷🏽♂️
I like when a guy asks if he can kiss me. Consent is sexy. And imo it shows he cares about how i feel about it rather than just taking it. But i guess everyone is different
not at all, women that can’t understand the concept of gaining consent firsthand still have their heads in the clouds thinking movie romance magic is a real thing.
Better safe than sorry and don’t let anyone tell you different.
Dude I literally said,” Can I kiss you?” to the girl I’m seeing now on our first date and she totally just yelped like ,”
YES! So I think asking is the right thing to do . Idk what this girl deal is and some people say it’s a vibe killer in this thread . Imagining being so lame that a guy respectfully asks you in a polite way he would like to be intimate with you and you think that’s wrong? You deserve better bro . What a clown you were with .
This is one of those really touchy topics that you’re gonna get a lot of polarizing views on, so I’ll try my best to hit you with the reality, and I’m not trying to grossly simplify this, BUT:
In the grand scheme there are two types of women when it comes to first kisses, women who absolutely want you to ask for that first kiss, and women who will totally reject you if you have to ask for the kiss.
NOW initially it may be hard to sus out what type of woman you’re dealing with, so let me light it up for you: she was grinding on you at the club. Typically the woman grinding on a guy she just met at a club is the type of woman that wants you to be assertive and take control, she wants you to make the moves and follow the motions.
On the other hand I met a nice lady at a cafe for a lunch date once. Something told me she was the type where I should ask for the kiss, even though she let me walk her home with my hand on her waist. When ai got her to her door, I just said: I’d really like to kiss you right now. She said “okay” and closed her eyes and started leaning in. BOOM, kiss on the first date.
You gotta be more intuitive my dude, and do a better job at gauging the type of woman you’re dealing with. Thats the only real answer.
Not at all! Some people would find that respectful.
Yes & No. In your case, when you have a woman being that forward w you, it’s green light to make a move. Something’s don’t need to be said, you can feel it. You saying that out loud killed the vibe. Clubs are one of the few places where it’s ok to be pretty straight forward as long as both parties are on the same page.
Beside that, I personally love asking “would it be okay if I kissed you” while on actual dates. I’ve found women respect me respecting their boundaries and are endeared by me asking. So far they always say yes.
Learn to read the vibe, know when and when not to be cordial, and practice makes perfect.
I’ve seen this question pop up before, and it’s usually split. Some girls are okay with it, others get turned off by it.
Maybe she was drunk and just wanted to have fun with a random guy. I wouldn’t take people and their behaviors in clubs too seriously.
My guess is she wanted more of that non thinking confident do it anyway attitude but to ditch you like that she must really value that mindset. You are better off without this girl
Consent is always sexy:-)
It really depends. In future, try to avoid phrasing it as a question. Instead of asking, say “I’m going to kiss you now” and then proceed based on their reaction to that statement.
Put your lips under 3 cm from hers anfd tilt your head. Wait her to kiss you.
You don’t ask her. You tell her. “I am going to kiss you now!”
Yea ofc
I really appreciate it.
When I was in a relationship I was too shy and despite she was too close I asked “Can I kiss you please?” and she smiled and we kissed and I exploded.
I miss her…
Fuck
It’s good to ask and sweet
Depends on the girl, some want you to take consent and some want you to kiss them in the moment. Would any of you clear this out?
I once messaged a girl, ‘I love you ‘.
My crush was crushed that day.
she left that night thinking about you dude, in a good way. keep it up keep asking👍i’m still so traumatised by this one guy who kissed me without consent and even told me ‘so i will have to ask you everytime i wanna kiss?’ and it’s 4 years ago. please keep asking 🙏
I appreciate it cause I have a lot of anxiety and I like the thought of consent lol
I always ask, at least if it’s the first few dates. Verbal consent at every step.