We broke up and now I’m wondering if a break would’ve been better for the chance of getting back together.

25F 29M. I’ve only been in a couple serious relationships. So my boyfriend broke up with me earlier this week. He originally suggested we take a break, but I didn’t think that was a good idea, so we broke up.

We’ve been together 4 months. He first “broke up” with me two weeks ago, and he ended up staying with me to try to feel things out and give it a second chance. Mainly, I think because of how upset I got, he wanted to at least try seeing if we could move past his feelings of uncertainty. We spent two nights together after, then he traveled for a week. He just got back, so we haven’t even really got a chance to spend a significant amount of time together since our last convo.

Sunday he took me off guard, saying he needed to talk to me as soon as he got home. He then said he doesn’t know at this point if he sees me long term and that he thinks we rushed into a relationship too fast, so he wants to take some time apart to “see if he misses me.” He said he thinks right now he just wants to be single and that it’s not fair to be in the relationship if he can’t give his 100% at this point in time. He asked if I was open to the idea of taking a break. I told him I don’t believe in breaks, that I think we should just break up, if that is truly how he feels, because I was willing to work through our differences and continue to see each other despite small bumps in the road. If two people want to be together, they should just work on it as a team, and not break up.

So, we split. He asked if we could remain friends, that he loves talking to me and spending time with me and he can’t imagine me not being in his life. I told him I don’t think that’s a good idea. Me personally, I know that is not something I will be capable of. He cried when I told him this was something I just couldn’t do. I know he likes spending time with me and basically just got scared of being serious. He asked me to he his gf fairly quickly. I was fine with that pace, but it became apparent it was something he just wasn’t ready for. He’s always going home, still hangs out with with high school friends, and has roommates. Not to neg him, because he is wonderful, but I do not have any of this in common with him.

He just finished grad school, and despite being older than me, he feels like he needs the opportunity to be single and know if I’m “the one for him.” He said “maybe I’ll miss you more than I’m anticipating.” I can’t help but feel offended by this.
So Sunday I let it happen, I didn’t beg or plead. A few days later, in a moment of weakness I decided to text him and ask him what a break would’ve meant to him. He said that it means taking some time apart so he can realize whether or not he wants to be with me and give up all the benefits of being single, not necessarily dating other people in the meantime but not shying away from it either. And that he would be ok that I would be doing the same. And then if and when he decides he’s ready to commit to me or that he misses me “we can have another conversation”.

I told him that is my definition of a break up and because of that even though he’s gonna do what he thinks he needs to do, I’m just going to go ahead and move on. He responded saying fine, that he’s going to move on as well although he will remember his time with me for the rest of his life..

I am so in shock of the emotional roller coaster this man has put me through. But I’m in love with him so I’m questioning my rejection of his break offer. Did I do the right thing? Maybe I should’ve gave him a time limit that we would go back and revisit so that he could decide, but I just know that I would be miserable the entire time he was deciding and not dating or seeing other people myself and it would be entirely up in the air and can I really risk that gamble?

TLDR: should I have accepted his offer of taking a break?