I’ll try to keep this as simple as possible. Long-ish read.
My ex and I were dating for almost 4 years. At the current moment we’ve been broken up for a little bit over a month. The relationship ended as it felt like we were just roommates living together with no real sense of a romantic connection. She wasn’t into physical touch and we havent had sex for more than a year. I was the one who did the dumping as I felt like it was time for us to face the facts that we are pretty much just friends at this point. We’ve been living with my parents as she doesn’t have any family here in Canada (she’s an international student). I told her that I would give her as much time as she needed to get on her feet so that she could move out. This seemed like the nice/civil thing to do. Another thing to add is that although we live together, we sleep separately, I let her have the bedroom and I’m sleeping on a mattress on the floor in the living room. She’s currently working 2 jobs, one at a retail store and one at a gym as a personal trainer where she recently just got hired. I also workout at this gym so I know people that work there (this detail is important later in the story). She doesn’t pay rent at my parents house and doesn’t have a car. All she does is work, eat, and sleep. We don’t talk much.
Now this is where things get interesting.
A couple days ago I got a new (used) car, so I randomly decided to go for a night drive just to have some fun with the new toy. Now I’m driving down my street, I approach a set of lights and as I pull up to make a left turn, I see my ex on the sidewalk holding hands with the gym manager that hired her. Wtf right? What are the odds of me seeing that? I’m not entirely sure if she noticed me as the windows in my car are pretty tinted. Now although it kind of made me feel weird inside, I wasn’t too bothered by it. I was just surprised that one could move on so fast. But to each their own.
Now here comes the dilemma.
One part of me wants to tell her that she needs to leave as soon as possible cuz it just feels wrong to have her stay under the same roof as me rent free, while seeing another dude. But on the other side of the coin, I feel bad as she would have nowhere to go. All her money would go straight to rent or car payments if I were to kick her out. I don’t have any romantic feelings toward her so this is me feeling bad for her on a human level, if that makes sense.
What would you guys do?
3 comments
Tell her she’s got untill the end of the week to find somewhere else to stay. She’s not your family member or your responsibility and right now she’s free loading off you and your parents whilst persuing another dude. She’s the one that chose to go study in another country so she should take care of her own shit and if she can’t afford to be in Canada then she needs to go home and study back home. Get your bed back. She’s not your responsibility. Focus on yourself and your future. Good luck.
She is not your problem any more dude. Using you and your parents. Give her a week to move. She can shack up with the manager dude
It is good you are concerned for her wellbeing but perhaps the best way to help her is to incentivise her to move on. Set a date for her to leave. If she has time for a new relationship then she has time to investigate alternate living arrangements.