I’m (26f) really into this guy (25m). Like, my heart still jumps every time he texts me even though I’ve known him for months. He’s the only person of the opposite sex I get excited to hear from. Honestly, it started out as just a hookup (we met off Tinder unfortunately). I was at a point in my life where I was too busy for a relationship and he wasn’t looking for anything serious. But I knew I liked him instantly. I feel extremely calm and safe when I’m with him, and this is saying a lot because I’m the most anxious person alive. The first night we hung out was in a group, and I couldn’t wait until we were alone together because he was quiet like me.
Since we met, a lot has happened. We’ve stopped talking a few times but he always comes back. The most intense thing that’s happened between us is that he literally got me pregnant. I didn’t keep the baby but after this experience I felt more attached to him because I’ve never been pregnant before. He’s the first guy to ever knock me up.
He told me he likes me but insists he doesn’t want a relationship. And I’m not stupid, I know what this means, and that’s what hurts. He knows how much I like him but won’t cut me off, like, I’ve had guys cut me off before because they knew they didn’t like me that much and didn’t want me to get hurt. But he won’t do that. I blocked him everywhere once and he literally messaged me off a fake account, like, won’t leave me alone. It just seems like he likes my presence as much as I like his, and keeps me around for sex, but why is the commitment so hard for him? The only reason why I’m upset is because I want to at least try to take it to the next level but he’s so stubborn.
2 comments
Hey OP, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way :/ This is a lot to unpack and frankly Im probably not the best at giving relationship advice. However I see a lot of my past self in this guy. Indecisiveness is a cold hearted killer and he will eventually learn that. It sounds like he truly does like you, but is afraid of commitment OR is greatly insecure. This could be due to past infidelity, child hood trauma or a number of other things. I’m curious to hear about how he handled your impregnation. If you wanted to keep the child do you think he would have stuck around?
Either way dude you should look at yourself and determine if all of this bullshit is worth it to you. I’m never going to sit here and tell someone they should or shouldn’t break things off with someone, but you need to determine at what point its worth all of this pain for someone that seemingly is stringing you along. I imagine it dosnt feel good to be treated like a booty call when you’re truly in love :/ stay strong sis.
He sees himself as too young at 25 (not to forget, we’re a couple of years behind you gals at that age, emotionally).
He’d soften up on committment by age 30 imo, but for now, sees himself exploring the world of women (sowing his wild oats).
I suspect he’s not been with that many women, previously, hmm?