Myself(M24) and my girlfriend(F24) have been together for 4 years.
My girlfriend has been working as part of a graduate programme for a company and one of their clients asked her to dinner on Friday to say thank you for her work. It would just be the two of them even though it wasn’t just my girlfriend who worked with him and he wants to bring her to a really expensive restaurant that has 9 courses each paired a glass of wine so there will be a lot of alcohol involved as well. Is this ringing anyone else’s alarm bells? This guy is in his mid too late 30’s and he wants to bring a 24 year old on the graduate programme of a company he’s briefly worked with to a stupidly expensive restaurant as a thank you. The dinner will set him back around 600 euro. He’s also messaged her about it on her own phone so she gave him her personal number which I also think is inappropriate.
She’s saying that she can’t say no now because he’s already got the table and it’s a top restaurant so I guess he pulled some strings or some crap but I think that’s bullshit too. A restaurant like this would have a cancellation filled in a minute with no notice. I can’t blame her for wanting to go to this place as it would probably take me about 6 months to get a table and half a months salary to take pay for it but this is really inappropriate on his part right?
TLDR: My girlfriend is being taken to dinner by a client of the company she works for as a thank you and the whole thing is weird to me.
24 comments
Sounds fishy for sure.
Incredibly inappropriate from a professional stand point. I don’t see how this isn’t meant to be a date.
Let’s be real… Assuming what you’re saying is true, this dinner has nothing to do with a thank you. Personal phone, the whole team isn’t invited, dinner for two, tasting menu, highly unprofessional – should have been rejected as inappropriate.
Your girl is definitely crossing a boundary to me.
Like you said it yourself, why would a late 30s professional take a 24yo grad out to a fancy dinner date? He definitely got her number at the office and is seeing how far he can get dude.
I mean there’s also the chance she possibly brought an up an idea he liked enough to follow up and discuss more seriously, or if she has known connections for a networking meeting.
But on the surface it sound weird to me without more info.
Red flaggggggg. She may not see it but anyone outside of this can – unless he’s expensing it through the company he’s taking her on a date. Which is inappropriate.
Sounds like a date, older dude splashing the cash on her only to say thank you not the whole team. Suspect as fuck. But you can make a decision too she is clearly interested or she would have declined a nine course booze fest alone with him. To all the job offer people lmao the only job offer going on there will be unprofessional 100% 9 glasses of wine is like 3 bottles no way are they going to be discussing business. If she chooses to go she is telling you something loud and clear only you will know how to respond best but is a reason to be looking at burial plots on hills imo!
Also she should tell her boss. This client is leveraging his status as a high value client to coerce her into a date. If shes saying she feels like she has to go, then she needs to get her boss involved. This is messed up and she needs an adult to step in and set boundaries if she can’t set the boundaries herself.
Could she bring you and/or the team with her? He could treat them all if he is so rich and grateful for the work.
It is inappropriate. What does your girlfriends workplace say to this? Usualy there are rules about what amount of money / worth an employee is allowed to accept (mostly everything under 100 €) and everything that goes beyond that has to be cleared with the company first.
Tbh. it sounds like that guy is trying to get in your girlfriends pants. Plain and simple.
Either this dude is completely divorced from reality and has no concept of the value of money or hes trying to get in her pants.
No one drops 600 euros on platonic thank you dinner…….
If the client hasn’t offered this or any other thank you to the rest of the team, then yes this is very sus.
Treating one employee and none others is not only unfair but suggests motive.
Your girlfriend knows
It’s a date. It’s inappropriate. Your girlfriend is unprofessional for attending (because of reason 1 and 2).
This is really inappropriate. It was a work team, not just her. Singling her out for an extravagant dinner date is well beyond just a “thank you”, and quite honestly is likely in violation of corporate policies regarding receiving gifts. At my job, we are allowed to join clients for dinner, but there is a threshold for the expense we are allowed to let them cover.
She can do whatever she wants, as she is an adult. You can also do what you want, including voicing your concern about her potentially risking her job so she can go on an extravagant one-on-one dinner date with this client. Then you must let her do what she wants.
If this guy does make it more than just a “thank you” and your GF decides to lean into it, then you know your relationship was doomed anyway.
Inappropriate. If he had pure motives, he would have invited other colleagues. He should know better and probably does.
my employer won’t legally allow me to accept incentive like that, so she may be facing that issue here as well
Very inappropriate.
God how are people sooooo blind to this stuff sometimes??
Like everyone said she should definitely bring this up to her boss as it’s a firable offense. Secondly he could use this against her if she doesn’t say anything. Finally if she is insistent about going tell her you will pick her up. I would never go to a dinner alone with a client you do not know what will happen
UpdateMe!
Yes, very inappropriate on his part. This literally sounds like a scenario from my company’s ethics training highlighting both our anti bribery policy and our sexual harassment policy.
However, as a 24 year old female in the workplace (over 10 years ago) I could see myself rationalizing the behavior. If you can’t get through to her, then at least ask her if she’s run it by her manager for approval. Sometimes it takes learning these lessons the hard way. If you stick by her side while she learns the lesson more power to you.
Why is only your gf invited to dinner if it was a team effort??
Your girlfriend wants to go and she’s already got a handful of excuses about why she needs to go, no matter how long your relation ship was, it’s pretty close to being over at this point
At least in Germany there’s a law that you can’t accept gifts from a client to prevent bribery.
It’s not only inappropriate, but also illegal.
You’re girlfriend accepted a courtship from another man and is letting you know about it.