I met this guy online via some mutual friends, we started chatting in a friendly way and then it escalated. We ended up sexting. He is single for sure, our mutual friends confirmed it.
[Later edit: neither of us was seeking a relationship, we explicitly concluded that we wanted to have a good time if we meet up, regardless of whether sex happens or not.)
Since then, we had a mix of normal chats and sexts, he was telling me stuff like “if we ever f… for real I will make you finish 4 times” etc. I suspect he is very, very inexperienced though. But I admit I was very horny when texting with him too.
This week I was on holiday in his country and asked him if he wanted to meet up. He said it would be fun. Now, I stay in city A. He lives 1h30min away in city B, but during the week he studies in city C, 30 mins away from my city A.
He suggested either: he comes over on Sunday or I come to city C tomorrow. On Sunday I landed in the afternoon, quite late, but he said it would work.
On Saturday evening I ask him if he still plans to come. He said something came up (described what exactly but idc, he works and studies and it’s the beginning of the term, anyway) but Wednesday would still work. We end up sexting again, but he says that while he is open to sex irl, he is very tired and hasn’t even masturbated in days. I was very horny, but said I’m open to sex only if he is ok with it too, so we will see how it goes.
Today I ask him if we meet tomorrow at X PM in city C like we talked. He says “Oh, regarding this… 😬 You really picked the wrong week. 🙁 “.
I told him that while I understand that he is busy, I really don’t understand why he only cancels after I text him, and that if he really wanted to, he would find a small timeslot since I’m the one who’s flexible and adapts to the suggestions he made. He hasn’t responded yet.
My friends say he probably chickened out because he might be a virgin, or he just wanted sexting etc. But I still don’t understand why he does it like that.
I feel really sad because I really liked talking to him and I also feel so stupid because I put my eggs in one basket. I recently got out of an abusive relationship and I don’t want to date actively, but I met this guy without no intention of something more and look what happened.
13 comments
He’s happy to have a friend to text/sext when he’s bored, but he’s not that interested in you.
From now on: if you want something to turn into a serious relationship, don’t sext before you even meet in person. It shows you’re not worth investing time and energy into as a woman.
Sounds like dude might not only be a virgin but also might have a small penis or something like that. If he’s 21 he should be willing to drive 2 hrs to get laid. I’m 36 and drove an hour and half for a weekend with 2 women so what’s the difference?
I would suggest move on and ignore him, if he wants you he will come to you or he will go away
I know it sucks, but I imagine he’s just very nervous about it. I’d let him know it’s okay if he’s nervous, that you don’t have to meet up if he isn’t comfortable with it, and that you care about his thoughts and feelings as his friend. and if you’d like to continue sexting him, let him know that as well. I think some reassurance in that it’s okay to be scared about meeting someone from online will go a long way.
Hope you two figure it out!
You’ll never know. You got to find peace of mind with it in a different way. Whatever his reasons he didn’t show. If he really wanted to he would have. Sorry. Time to move on and stop overanalysing it…
You say you two are sexting, it is likely that he is masterbating to that, then post nut clarity kicks in and he’s either satisfied with just beating his meat or gets cold feet after and is avoiding a meet up. And I know you said sex didn’t have to happen, but as an older woman than him and likely more experienced, he might think you’ll pressure him into it. Idk, I’d just move in
Ask him
completely unrelated, but how many guys just slid into your DM’s after posting this?
He’s probably a virgin
Post nut clarity
Why would you want to be with a guy 6 years younger than you. Hes a baby. Also he’s just not into anything but sexting. Ditch him like a bad habit.
Most likely he is inexperienced.
Because there jerks lol
He seems inexperienced and young. I was in a similar situation with a 24yo, I’m 28F. Not all men are the same, but also if men our age can’t give us what we want without hurdles or understanding and compassion then how can we expect someone much younger to do it.