Can someone please HELP me!!!

Jesus Christ I’ve had about all I can take. I have been battling with issues since a child and now into adulthood 28F.

My mental health is a concern. It has gotten so bad that it interferes with my work and I can’t do anything. I am currently unemployed and currently facing being homeless.

I have reached out to countless mental health specialist to no avail. Some don’t care, stood me up, were rated poorly, sent me to bad facilities and programs (one facility was known for leaving people are the door and not answering) or some even gave advice as bad as me going back to the person or ppl who caused these problems. None of them will give me the things I need. One even said I should’ve been put on medication, but did nothing about it. Therapy is not cheap and unfortunately you can’t get your money back for those that didn’t work.

The mental health field is flawed and faulty field. I came across an article by a mental health professional stating the problem in the mental health field. Check it out if you would like: https://steverosephd.com/why-its-so-hard-to-find-a-good-therapist/

My mental health is declining and unfortunately I have been severely impacted at life. I have no supportive family and I have abusive parents.

Since hitting my late twenties the state off my mental health as been getting worse and worse each year until the point (now) it is crippling and debilitating. I will lay in bed all day. I can’t muster up the energy to do tasks or things around the house. I bust out crying at random at home or in public.

Some ppl are given a good hand at life some aren’t. I’ve just accepted it/life for what it is. Some ppl are just born with a bad life and I’m one of them.

What also makes things worse is guys only approach me for sex or to fill an emotional void. I don’t even present myself in such a way. Even guys I may show interest in wind up doing that same thing. Only wanting sex. I don’t understand why I can’t make it to the girlfriend stage or find a quality person. These same guys will go any get in relationships with girls, but I am just a piece of sex meat. It hurts because it reinforces the childhood trauma and that is the only thing I get.

I can’t seem to find a balance. Either I’m too nice to ppl and they walk over me or I’m mean and they don’t bother me or avoid me. I don’t know who to watch out for or when to apply it.

I could see if this was a few ppl, but this is everyone I meet.

I want to die.

I have reached out to family and ppl, but nothing has improved. In fact nothing has changed and remained the same. What is the use of training. If you are seeing the results you should get the message and stop trying.

I’m just planning to write a letter telling everyone why I killed myself when I do.

I suffer from a list of things: Depression, anxiety, mother wounds, only child syndrome, childhood isolation, social anxiety, social awkwardness, abandonment issues, anxious attachment styles, searching for love in all the wrong places, to even going to ppl or back to ppl that mean me no good.