Ex bf lied and now I’m questioning my judgment

English isn’t my first language so incase I make any mistakes, feel free to correct me. Also if you have any questions lemme know.

It’s a bit long so hang on.

While venting out to my friends, they suggested that I should post it on reddit and get an outside opinion, since all of us are 23 maybe someone elder or experienced might give better perspective.

Here’s what happened

I (23F) recently broke up with my bf(23M) (Andrew) after dating for over a year. Basically I got dumped, one day he made dinner plans for us for the weekend and the next day he said he’s just not into me anymore. The relationship was great, we never argued both families knew, it was literally too good to be true.

I used to gush to my friends about how sorted we are, how we just get each other so well etc etc. Unlike my previous relationship where we fought all the time. So I was caught off guard when he broke up with me. I was really depressed for few weeks.

Initially during the talking phase , we were telling each other about our pasts. Andrew mentioned to me that he dated this girl Megan , who was his girl best friend.

Andrew told me that his guy bff Phil used to date Megan. And whenever Phil and Megan fought Andrew used to act like their therapist to resolve the issues. He helped them get back together a couple of times. Until they called it quits but by then Andrew was in love with Megan, eventually they started dating. When Phil found out he was really upset and just broke his friendship with Andrew. I found it a bit icky since you Don’t date your friends ex, but meh love happens unexpectedly so I chose to ignore it.

Anyway after the break up, Andrew’s brother Anthony texted me something about being a part of their family. I was super confused, so I told him that , ” didn’t you know? Your brother broke up with me. ” Anthony was super shocked, he couldn’t believe it. Anthony recently moved abroad for studies. But he was consoling me a lot on texts. After talking to him he said, ” idk why a nice girl like you was dating Andrew ” I didn’t really understand this, since Andrew seemed like a genuinely nice guy.

Anthony said that this is what he does, He dumped Megan out of nowhere on their 1 year anniversary. I was so shocked cause he had told me that they had a mutual break up.

Anthony also mentioned that his past relationship wasn’t that clean. Apparently Megan cheated on Phil with Andrew. It was so messy that once when Andrew and Megan were hooking up at his apartment , Phil came to his house, since he wanted to talk to someone about the troubles he was having about his relationship with Megan, she literally had to hide in his bathroom.

Worse part is Andrew even used to hit on Anthonys girlfriend. Anthony told me that he has basically lost all respect for his brother. I would have never dated him in the first place if I knew all this , the cheating, the lies, I never date bad boys, I’m not someone who thinks I can change a guy.

I mean to hit on your brother’s gf? Hookup with your bffs gf? This guy basically had no morals. Literally what was stopping him from hitting on my female friends or even my sister?

After hearing all this I connected few dots from when we were dating and there are high chances that he even cheated on me. But since I have no proof I’m not gonna think about it.

For 1 year I was all like ..this guy is so perfect, so understanding, what did I do to deserve such a good human being. And now I just feel like I’ve been scammed.

Idk how to trust anyone anymore. Like this guy said the right things to make me go crazy about him. Love letters , hand made gifts i got every thing. Even if everything is going perfect this person can just wake up one day and say they don’t love you anymore. He literally said that he wasn’t feeling it for a while and was just faking the romantic stuff. So now I’m just questioning like for how long has he been faking it? 1 week ? 2 months? Cause in my head we were so in love but he was making an exit plan.

Tldr: ex bf wasn’t really the nice guy, and now I’m questioning myself if I can really tell apart the guys who are actually nice or just a menace .