I consider myself a late bloomer that just recently started exploring partnered sex. I met someone and we’ve started a casual relationship. In the beginning he was really enthusiastic, but now the pattern is that he would only start conversation when he wants to meet up. He has a full time job and other part time ones, so he always says he’s busy. He told me that he’s not looking for anyone else since he’s just got a lot going on and doesn’t have time to find someone else or to date. But still, my mind wanders when I don’t hear from him. And it doesn’t make it less hurtful that he only remembers me when it’s convenient for him.
I know that I got myself into this situation. I know I’m putting too much weight on this fuck buddy situation. And I know it’s really not ideal. BUT. I always just make excuses that this is *okay for now* and that I *atleast* have someone cute I can have fun in bed with, and that he’s not disrespectful or abusive and he makes me feel wanted when we’re together. I don’t like the idea of letting him go thinking it might be a mistake if I do. That I might just be overthinking or overreacting. And that this is better than being lonely alone. I keep going back and forth with these thoughts and I feel stupid.
I know I have attachment and self worth issues I need to address, and I will start seeing a therapist soon but in the meantime I’m just putting my thoughts out there so I can process.
If you’ve been in a similar situation, please share your experience. I just want clarity on what direction I should go. I think I have a good idea on what I should do but I think I just need help sticking to it.
3 comments
You’re his fuck doll and nothing more. If you wanna keep being used like that then that’s your choice. Plenty of other fuck buddies out there so your argument of letting him go is dumb.
Need to ask yourself is your self worth that non existent that you need a fuck buddy to give you a boost/affirmation. Most dudes would fuck any girl, you ain’t special you’re just easy to him, a text to get to bang without any effort for him.
What do you want? An actual guy that will care about you or keep being a used up doll.
If you’re not happy with the relationship then end it. There’s plenty of other people out there.
I met a girl a couple years ago. We liked each other and started sleeping together. I told her that even though I like being with her, I didn’t want to get serious because I was moving out of state in less than a year and didn’t want to start a relationship that would either force her to move with me or end up in long distance. She agreed that was not ideal. We kept hooking up and spending time together for another few months. During that time I realized that I didn’t have romantic feelings for her at all. Just liked her as a friend and fuck buddy. I communicated that to her very explicitly because I could tell she was having serious feelings for me. She said she understood. We kept hooking up until about 3 months before I was going to move and then things just fizzled out. I let it go because I was moving and felt that it had ended naturally so no reason to try and start anything again so soon before I was due to leave. I started dating someone seriously in the place I was going to move to about 2 months before I was due to move. Told my precious fuckbuddy I had started dating someone. Fuckbuddy ended up quitting her job and moving to the state I moved to. She said it was just for a change of scenery, but I always suspected she moved here hoping I would change my mind about her and I getting into a relationship. I didn’t. She left after a year. My point in all this is you can’t force someone to like you. And if you’re not happy with how things are, just end them. Don’t try and force a situation that the other person clearly doesn’t want.
We will advise you to move on but in reality you will keep seeing him until he meets some one he really likes and you will be heart broken.