My SO doesn’t want to do sexual acts because she has fears from the past.

I (m27) and my SO(f24) are together for almost 2.5 year now. In de first period of our relationship the sex was awesome, best i ever had.

She had a terrible past with a lot of sexual, mental and physical abuse by several people. You can understand that this does a lot to someone.

Nevertheless she was perfect as she was now and I loved her dearly. Of course, because of her past, there were sometimes difficult moments, but we could always solve these. I advised her to go to therapy, which she has been doing very well for 1.5 years now.

However, this therapy, in addition to all the good moments, has also caused something bad. Our sex life has really gone downhill. This really goes on for weeks or months without sex and sometimes even without a hand job or the like. When I talk to her about this, she says that when we start the sex moments, she starts to feel very bad. Of course I indicated that this is not the intention and that she should never do anything that she does not feel happy about.

To explain more about how she feels. She has that she often has to think back to the moments of the past and does not feel safe.

Now my problem. So I’ve had a really difficult sex life for the past 1.5 years. If it’s up to me we have sex every day, I think she’s the prettiest woman there is. I know she likes sex and she also indicates this, but she has a bad feeling about it 95% of the time.

How can I make sure that our sex life gets a little better and she doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable with every sexual act?

When I ask her, or talk about our sex life at all, she almost always gets emotional because she’s afraid I’ll leave her. She herself indicates that I can’t help her, but after 1.5 years I don’t know what to do.

Please help.