From highschool to college to where I am now at 28 years old, people seem to overlook me or forget about me all the time. I’ve been nice to people. Been genuine about having likes and hobbies in common. Some how I am actually pretty good at talking. I’ve been in many spaces. I’ve obtained many phone numbers. I got cool clothes and a few cool pair of shoes.
But no one follows up or texts back much. For example I met a guy at an EDM show. Got his number. Actually tried to hang with and his homies the next night at another festival. I got the ticket. Tried to get over there and rain temporarily postponed it.. Never saw him and he never hit me back up afterwards. I’m a huge music fan too. But no matter how good the convo no one is that interested in fucking with me.
Another huge reality check is when a friend I was hanging with for a few years thought I was being a creep by parking next to her apartment complex to go to a bar near her and watch basketball. (this was on a street where PLENTY of other cars are at). I even asked her the day before if she wanted to hang there and she said she can’t. She texted me the night of the game saying not to park near her place again and said it’s stalkerish and makes her uncomfortable. Out of offense and respect for her I didn’t bother to text her back much after that or even attempt to meet with her like we use to. It goes to show that no matter what the history is, people will come and go. I try so hard to show appreciation to folks and not to be the one to go yet here I am. Abandoned regardless.
I’ve tried so hard to believe in people and bring positive energy. After all that i pretty much only hang out with one dude frequently and attend a chess club often. The folks I meet there enjoy my presence and call me really good but that’s about it. I’ve never hung with a group of more then 2 people in public spaces and experience the joy of everyone having fun and shit… Never really partied neither.
I suppose i should say fuck every one and only care about my family. Sell all my cool shit and wear basic shit. I wonder if it’s the areas I’ve been or something. But man. Alot of times I feel like I am an eternal loner and I do not belong.
1 comment
Being “nice” is a minimal requirement for meeting people/making friends. Like “breathing.”
Beyond that, people have to have a REASON to want to be with you. The reason is generally that they ‘click’ with you, or you’ve developed a rapport, or that you bring something good to the interaction, or you have a great vibe.
Here are four traits that are almost universally appreciated, I call them ECHO: Enthusiasm, Confidence, Humor & Optimism.
Do you have any of these traits? If not, what ARE you bringing to these interactions? What are some of your prominent traits?