So a few weeks ago me (20 f) and my bf (18 m) went on break and it was for a week, it was hard but I got through it but this time is different. My boyfriend is saying he’s breaking up with me (because on a break he feels he can’t fully separate himself from me and can’t focus on his personal growth), and this time we do not know how long it’ll last. I’m really worried about how long it’ll be til I see him again or can talk to him again and I have bad separation anxiety. He did say he only wants me, he is going to be loyal to me even if we aren’t “together”, and he made very well sure that I know he loves and cares about me a lot but I’m still so scared. He also stated he DOES want to be with me and he DOES plan on being with me when he feels he has grown enough and fixed his issues. I just hate being alone like this and I overthink every day. Is there any advice how I can get through this weird break/breakup and what are ways to stop the overthinking and racing thoughts. He isn’t doing this because he doesnt like me etc, but I feel like I was harsh on him the last time he did something bad and he feels that he will just keep making the same mistakes unless he goes and fixes them on his own without the influence or distraction from a relationship. He’s hard on himself as is but if this is what he thinks will fix his issues I will support him and wait for him. Just for perspective this has been my healthiest relationship yet and we have been together 2 years.
2 comments
You need to get treatment for your anxiety, that would be the best thing you could do for yourself and your future relationships. I would not count on him coming back if you do not. And if you care about him, you will respect his decision. He has already broken up with you. Focus on yourself, now.
There is no loyalty to an ex. Besides, hanging around in a holding pattern waiting for him to find himself is a fool’s position. Maybe he accomplishes his goals quickly. Maybe it drags on and on with no end in sight. You can’t wait around on the basis of vague nonsense. That’s one of the reasons why breaks are bullshit.