TL;DR: I \[24M\] am coming up on 6 months with my girlfriend \[26F\] and am having second thoughts about committing to the next stage of the relationship, which is only my second long-term relationship. Am I overthinking this or should I break up with her?
My girlfriend \[26F\] and I \[24M\] have been dating for 5 months. We met on Hinge and went on two dates a week for a month before deciding to be exclusive. I’m her first long-term partner and she’s my second – I dated my high school GF through college (long-distance, on opposite coasts) and I broke up with her at the start of COVID before taking about 18 months to get back into the dating scene.
Since going exclusive, we’ve mixed in regular dates with a few short road trips together and have hit it off pretty well. She’s met my parents twice and I’ve met her mom and sibling once. We haven’t done anything sexual past hand stuff because I’d be her first so she understandably wants to take things slow, she has some recurring health issues, and I’ve only had one sexual partner before (my first GF). Also, while we’ve used hearts in texts and the like, we still haven’t actually said “I love you” to each other – which is something I said a couple months too early in my first relationship, if I’m being honest.
Here’s the rub: **I just moved 1.5 hours away from her start grad school,** so we’re now dating long(ish) distance. We’ve visited each other once and while the visits were good, I’m worried that, like I experienced in undergrad, visiting her/having her visit every other weekend means I’ll struggle to balance spending time with her and with studying/with my classmates. But I did not love being single, so I’m wondering whether I’m just having a “the grass is always greener on the other side” moment.
We’ve also started tentatively planning a bigger trip for our 6 month anniversary that may involve meeting her whole family. I’m wondering whether that would be a mistake to follow through on since I’m having these doubts about committing to her fully.
So what should I do here? Should I give it another month through our anniversary and see whether we adjust to being a little further away from each other? Would it be better to just end things now?
2 comments
You don’t really sound like a man in love. If after six months you dont have strong feelings, I wonder if you should work at keeping a long distance relationship going. It would aldo be much kinder to break up with her before she gets comfortable enough to have sex, given her feelings.
So you’re just with her because you don’t like being single. Real mature.