I’m a 34M average to above average looking. 5’11 185lb. I’ve had 5 women in the last week “like” me on a dating app and all 5 responded to my initial message.
I’m older with 2 kids and prefer zero mind games and an adult approach.
So I simply state it’s nice to meet you and the carry a simple question based on their profile. For example: “I see you love traveling, where have you travelled and what was your favorite”
All 5 ghosted after a couple responses. What am I doing wrong
13 comments
Nothing. This is classic of dating apps.
Don’t take it personally. I’ve had this done to me and I’ve done it the same. Dating apps are exhausting and require a lot of effort and initiative do get a convo going sometimes. Best of luck to you!!
Tell them about yourself too or it become a press conference questioning over dinner for them.
You’re asking interview questions. You’re making it a chore for them. You have to be more entertaining than demanding.
Dry conversation.
At least you got messages. I created a dating profile over a year ago. Not a single message. Granted all the recommendations I see are usually over 250 miles away. Downside to living in a rural area.
I think it’s just that they meet people who interest them more
This is a classic dating app experience and I’m in my mid 20s. Don’t feel bad.
If she stops responding to questions (which she probably will), it means you asked too many.
People want to talk about themselves but they want to talk about things they’re interested in. Just talk about yourself and wait for a response. She’ll react, and probably start throwing out things about herself if she’s just matching the vibe.
I know that I’m prone to stop responding when the conversation seems too dry, like too much work or like it isn’t going anywhere. I just gave up on someone after a few (what I consider “dry”) exchanges. We compared weekends, I asked him what his IDEAL ideal weekend would be (trying to spark a fun exchange) and I got a bland response back and then he just kept asking me the exact same things I asked him. I mean, come on dude, vary it up, be a little creative, build on something mentioned in a previous answer. Also, I like to see a sense of humor and fun in an initial conversation (but I can only speak for myself). What do your exchanges with these women look like?
Ask them on a date immediately. This is the biggest improvement that I’ve gotten on dating apps and completely stopped this situation your going through for me. Understand that on a dating app it’s implies she already wants to go on a date with you since that’s the whole reason your both on there. It’s a dating app not a texting/ talking app. Also realize women get thousands of matches and most men will make the same mistake your making. The guys who ask immediately get a yes or no immediately and usually it’s a yes.
They are talking to 12 other guys too
Maybe you aren’t the problem. I think we are in a world we are so dopamine driven that having a relationship no longer pleases us. We all want something more.