The first time i met my bestfriend’s girl, it was a little awkward. Both of us were shy, and didn’t really talk/engage with each other.
The next time we meet I want to fix that first impression, but not sure how. I guess it all starts from acknowledging her, so is a hug appropriate, given it’s my bestfriends girl (19yo if that makes a difference)? Wouldn’t feel right asking him how to greet her so i’m asking here. Thanks!
edit: after a thorough analysis i’ve concluded that a fist bump would be the simplest and safest bet. This is genius.
34 comments
If she is a hugger and initates one, and you are fine with hugging, then accept the hug.
Otherwise, just go with a warm non-physical greeting like a wave, and your local equivalent of “G’day, nice to see you again. Howsit goin?” (on behalf of all Australians, I give you permission to try the Aussie version there if you really get stuck)
If you come from a culture where hugging is a common way of saying hello and doesn’t have a “romantic interest” connotation or would make her feel her “personal space” is invaded, I’d say it’s just a way of letting her know you are friendly.
Otherwise, if you live somewhere where hugging is not as commonly accepted, I’d only give her a handshake
Probably should go for a handshake,high five or fistbump instead.
Would be way less awkward if it failed
Normally yes, but in your case I’m not sure about that. I don’t know but if it were me I wouldn’t like a hug from a guy I only saw once before and it was even awkward then.
Normally you hug someone you have some connection to, and by that I don’t mean being the boyfriend’s best friend. And if anything shouldn’t it be her who should be asked? Not saying anyone should be asked.
I see how it might have been awkward, even I feel awkward right now, lol. I mean it’s an awkward question. Also, shouldn’t a hug be something kinda coming naturally out of affection? Your approach now by thinking about it and all sounds like this would end in an even more awkward scenario. And last but not least we can’t tell you if your best friend would be ok with that, you should know that better than any of us.
How about a side hug instead of a full-blown frontal hug?
Fist bump!
fist bump her and make sure she knows she’s a bro not a girl
I wouldn’t go for a hug this early. There are times for bros to hug each others girl friends but not so much in the situation your describing. A Hug should happen naturally. If you have to pre think it its probably not the best way to accomplish what you are trying to do. Next time you meet her I would just smile warmly and do the open hand high thing. Next time engage and talk. Don’t force anything. You both have something in common and that is your best friend. You two must have something in common cause you both enjoy hanging out with your best friend.
It’s kinda weird that you are so worked up upon hugging her. I think it’s a you problem . Don’t be weird and be normal
My personal rule is to not force hugs on people unless they want it first. I like hugs so I kind of wait for the cue of the less-comfortable person to initiate.
Wait until you get to know her better. Do not go for a hug first.
Only if you do the same with other people. Some of my bf’s friends are the super hugging affectionate type so they greet me like everyone else. And some just wave. Don’t think about it too seriously! 🙂
Only if you hug everyone else.
Usually they appreciate an open mouthed kiss
Dick bumb, not fist bump. Hit her right in the forehead with that shit. She will appreciate it and respect you for being a Man.
Heterosexuals have so many weird rules lol
I give side hugs to them lol. I have two friends that are married and I’ve seen my other friends giving them a side hug so I just copied them .
Dab her up
Depends on the personalities. Hers, yours and his
I have opposite sex friends that I hig all the time. We’re in relationships. The key is that is how we do things in that friend group. We’re not the only ones hugging.
Read the group. Is this a hugging group? If you don’t know, don’t hug
Sometime I hug my boyfriend’s guy friends and sometime it’s a fist bump. Never thought much of it. Start with the fist bump if a hug feels unnatural.
Think about it if the role were reversed would you like your bestfriend doing it to your girl
I hug my boyfriends friends what I know well. Usually the ones that I’d feel comfortable hugging/know the best are his better friends anyways so it doesn’t feel awkward.
The ones I don’t know as well, I usually just wave at and say hi/bye
It’s kinda hard to remember right now, not being in the moment, but I think I usually just follow my boyfriend’s lead. If it’s a friend he greets with a dap/hug, I’ll also greet them with a hug as well. They he just waves at the friend (unless I personally know them better) I’ll probably do the same
It’s difficult to find someone who doesn’t appreciate a hug. If you know her enough to call her your best friend I think it’s ok. Even if it isn’t, it’s not a big deal if you do it one time.
If she hugs you, well, it’s not like you can do a lot to stop it without seeming very awkward. I wouldn’t initiate a hug though.
The first time I hung out with my husband’s best friend, at the end of the weekend, he gave me a big hug and said “Bob* loves you so I love you”. It was super endearing, like I was officially included in a family circle or something.
Now granted, this is his military buddy so I feel like they verge on brothers more than just best friends. And he’s from the Deep South (U.S.), so that could affect cultural stuff. But I can tell you, almost 20 years later, it set the tone and when my husband wants to go run off hunting or riding dirt bikes in Utah or whatever with this guy I’m glad. I mean I wouldn’t stand in his way regardless but when I’m stuck being a single mom for a week I don’t resent it like I might if his friend was a dick. Just one gal’s perspective.
*Not my husband’s name.
Edited to add: I also don’t mean if he hadn’t hugged me that means he’s being a dick. I’m actually not really a hugger so I didn’t expect it.
Full hug on second meeting, when it was awkward the first time? I’d say no.
Avoid it, just engage surface level as part of the introduction. “Hey Sarah! Did you do that thing you told me about last time?”. You will look like you actually listen and since I’m guessing as the friend, she is newish to your friend group in general so it makes her feel more welcome. If either you can’t control your tone/wording or your friend is a little sensitive to perceiving things the wrong way, try to extend the comment to include something they were both doing so it isn’t as personal.
Hug them both.
Yeah, hug might be a little too much. I agree with fist bump or similar. (A one arm hug is a nice upgrade, IMO. Not too touchy while communicating welcome.)
But I’d also focus on other ways of making her feel welcome to the circle of friends that your best friend is a part of, as that will be important to her, and welcome help from you. I see two ways you can do this:
-Communicate happiness/excitement when you first see her. Let her know you are glad she’s there. That goes a LONG way.
-Make space for her in conversation, both physically and socially. Literally open the physical circle so that she’s in it, not off to one side. And occasionally include her in the conversation by asking her what she thinks about whatever topic you’re discussing. Give her the floor. Not a million times, just enough so that she understands she is part of things.
Hugs are usually fine
When in doubt, fist bump lol
I know my best friends wife pretty well, but still will only do the good ole one arm hug when I leave their house. Just set some sort of boundary to signal to both of them that you respect their relationship.
Honestly, I start off with a fist bump when I don’t know what to do to break the awkwardness 😂
Go fist bump style
I am a woman and would totally be okay with a hug but I recognize that not everyone is that way so you want to play it safe. I’m about to give you some non-physical ways to acknowledge her. But fwiw, where I’m from we have something called “a church hug” to deal with situations like this lmao.
Non-physical ways to acknowledge your bff’s girlfriend:
– Say hi first and say their name when you greet them. This sounds so minor but a lot of times people just say “hey”, out they just walk up without saying anything to the gf. So it hits different to say “hey Susan! How’s it going?”
– Remember the things they tell you about themselves and mention it later. Some basic things to remember are where they’re from, where they currently work or go to school, whether they’re an only child.
– Include bff in the convo. If bff mention gf likes Steph Curry, when you see gf again tell her “(bff) mentioned you like basketball, have you been to any games around here?” “(Bff) mentioned you’ve been skydiving. That’s so cool! How was it?” This works for favorite counties/places to visit, music groups, restaurants, etc.
– Whenever you are with bff and gf, acknowledge them both equally. Tbh, I think it’s better for you to feel like the third wheel than for her to. You and bff’s relationship is secure, you get to just hang out and have fun. I hope it’s clear I’m not saying you have to be quiet or disengaged, but just remember that there’s a third person there to engage with.
Honestly it depends on the person. For me, I wouldn’t really care. I’ve always prefered hugs before handshakes kisses and I get that some people also prefer hugs, so I wouldn’t be jealous.
But for others, it may be the worst thing on earth. Human are hard. They complicate themselves way to much