Im serious wtf is even “normal” how do I be “normal” how do I not hate living all the time by reducing the aching hurtful gut feeling that’s never stopped for the past ten years long story short my parents were so ashamed of my autism that they locked me in the house never let me go to school never let me work and forced me to go through a form of conversion therapy for autism as if its a choice so now at 21 I have to deal with a lot of trauma a lot of ptsd I have to remediate 12 years of education on my own i have to learn to socialize and talk from scratch on my own I have to learn to flirt on mg own I have to learn to increase my emotional intelligence on my own long after normal developmental periods of time where this stuff is supposed to be learned on my own atleast if I want to not hate the feeling of being alive which is just my gut filled with anxiety fear loneliness hate frustration self loathing depression if i dont want to be hazed at work I have to learn to be funny like my managers favorite if I want a gf I have to not be boring or else im just a “nice guy” right
For the full story read these Reddit post I can’t type it all like that
Chronological order
1.thread 1 part 1 – 4
2.Post1
3.thread 1 part 5
4.Post 2
thread 1 : https://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/xc6nhm/i_dont_actually_understand_how_people_can_be_so/io7iclz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Post 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/mushokutensei/comments/uaqcnk/mushoku_tensai_literally_changed_my_life_and_gave/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Post 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/x25hqh/i_hate_the_feeling_of_being_alive/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Added context as of now I have quite that horrible job but I don’t want that shit to happen again people treated me that way because they didn’t like me they didn’t like me because I was “boring” and “wasn’t funny” id also like to add that since post 1 I am now at 199 pounds however as of late I have not been eating right and when I was working that job I never had time for the gym I have gained no friends and do not see a gf in my future I have no social circles six months of hard ass work and I lm still at zero I wish I had the privilege to have a normal child hood but no so here I am what would you do in my situation how do I be “normal” so I can have the right to begin to work for a happy life and can someone tell me how I earned this what was the causation
1 comment
That sounds horrible, it sounds like you went through alot, life isn’t fair and alot of people have shit childhoods.
Dont worry about the social parts. The brain adapts pretty fast, just expose yourself to the thing you want to improve in (even if its scary) and you’ll get better.
And by getting a girlfriend. It’s not a task or vital thing to be happy in life. You usually get vibes when it’s the right one, if she likes you back then you’re 2 pulling the ropes together, so to say.
I hope the best for you in the future, just keep having the image of who you want to be. What is the most important values for you?