So I know this sounds like a ridiculous question that’s been asked alot but I am feeling stressed and confused so I’ve made a throw away.
I’ve been with my husband for 18 years, and apart from a few stereotypical hetero situations when I was a teenager he has been my only encounter since I was 17.
The last few years we’ve been exploring our sex life and occasionally the idea of extras come up. I’m the dominant one in our relationship so any encounter would be that way inclined.
I’ve always liked the idea of women, for as long as I can remember Ive fantasized a bit, enjoy the porn etc …
BUT there are 2 major red flags im not sure about…
Firstly the main issue I worry about is that I cannot at all imagine myself wanting to go down on a woman, I get off on the idea of it happening to me, I love the idea of pegging and various other positions but that fundamental activity… Nope 😬
And secondly, Ive never had a physical attraction to a woman in my real world life.. I’m relatively sheltered, haven’t had a job most of my life and such so not alot of opportunity to be fair…. And I do find myself looking at certain ladies on TT or celebrities.. but not in person. Not sure if it’s because I haven’t met anyone i would be or if it’s just the idea I enjoy 🤔
I understand most people’s answer would be, it’s just a label we are all flexible who cares, or just have a crack and find out but it’s not that simple.. if I was to explore this side of me it would actually take a fair bit of negotiation and organising and I’m worried it’s a waste if I’m not actually sure.
1 comment
Reading your last column I am a little confused – what is the question really?
Sexuality is fluid and can change during life span.
1. Being open to a certain sexual activity and closed off to other is fine. You can simply be more of a receiver than a giver… As long as both sides are OK with it, it is completely fine..
2. You not being exposed to many women in real life may have blocked your exploration of this as you didn’t give yourself the opportunity to meet a woman that could have attracted you…
If you don’t feel motivated enough to make a step towards exploring yourself, in the end it all depends on whether you can leave it be.
If it really is inside you eventually it can swallow you whole as you’ll fel something is missing…
Are you bisexual? We don’t know… You’ll have to find the answer to that…
Or you can visit a sexologist who can measure your responses to the genders…
But nobody is fully straight or fully gay