Correction of title: **NOT Close Contact**, just as an acquaintance or a general friend who you talk to from time to time…

40 comments

  2. >If so, what do you do to make her feel better

    Not have close relationships with Exes to begin with.

  3. Dont do that. Not if you expect a long term relationship with your current girlfriend and respect her feelings.

  5. Bro…really? of course, 99.9% of women will have an issue with you keeping contact with an ex lol You can’t stay “friends” with an ex when you’re in a relationship…hell I’m not even sure most people can do it when single.

  6. *confused nick young meme*

    At best, keep distant contact. Close contact is absolutely a no go. No contact is obviously ideal.

  7. You generally can’t be close to your ex and have a successful relationship with someone else. I’m sure there are very few exceptions but it all comes down to trust. Trust is something that’s earned and is a foundational element to any good relationship.

    Being close to your ex makes trust difficult, thus making a foundational part of a relationship difficult. Choose one or the other my dude. Don’t keep your ex around for emotional support even though you two have that connection. You need to build that level of emotional support with your new S/O

  8. If you want this relationship to be successful, you need to stop talking to your exes.

    Unless you share children with them, then it is what it is, but it should only be about the kids.

  10. Staying close with an ex is just asking for a bad time. Most women would be (rightfully) very hesitant to pursue something with you

  11. i’m gonna go against the grain here and say it IS possible to be friends with an ex while dating. however some questions: how long were you together? how intimate was the relationship? how serious was it? i personally had a bf who was still close friends with an ex but they dated for one month in high school YEARS ago and got over it. i even met her and see her occasionally with him and it never bothered me once. but i wouldn’t be okay with that if it was an ex of a few years let’s say

  12. I’ve been in relationships where just the mention of an ex was a bad idea. There’s too much history between you and an ex; that doesn’t need to get in the way of the current relationship which should be front and center.

  16. It would bother me if it bothered her. Good relationships, partnerships, are firmly rooted in trust. And that’s what I’ve always looked for.

  17. No. She had no issues with my ex. Every other woman I came within 30 feet of however, I got interrogated about.

  18. Yes, she absolutely would mind.

    There’s nothing I could do to make her feel better about it, nor would I try. She’s been upfront since the beginning about that being one of her boundaries, I had the choice to either take it or leave it.

    Sometimes you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You’re entitled to talk to your ex, your current partner is 100% entitled to consider it a dealbreaker. You just have to choose what you’re going to prioritize, and quite frankly if I felt like I needed to prioritize my ex over my current partner I wouldn’t feel ready to be dating.

  19. Depends on the context of the relationship. If they just screwed once or twice but she later “friend-zooned” him I wouldn’t care. However, if she cheats on me with him? Then the relationship is pretty much over. I have a very negative and extreme opinion on cheating. If they’ll do it once, they’ll do it twice. I’ve seen it ruin too many good men.

  21. My ex was the one who introduced me to, and told me to date my wife. I would guess my wife is fine with me knowing her still.

    Other than her I am friends with about half of my exes. My wife doesn’t care, they are exes for a reason.

  22. My girlfriend doesn’t mind if I talk to my exes. I just don’t talk to them. I do reply when I get greeted for my birthday

  23. Unless you have a kid with your ex I think over 90% of women aren’t going to like you talking to her at all.

  24. Yeah. Definetly not happening. “Hey honey, I’m going to meet the girl I was inside of a few thousand times for coffee, you cool with that?”

  25. My bf keeps contact (not close contact) with his ex, and I’m okay with it. Just some background, my bf and his ex dated for 10+ years and their families are close to each other, so I understand it doesn’t feel “right” to go no contact with his ex.

    As for the reasons why I’m okay with it, I think it’s because his actions allow me trust him. For example, he only replies her messages once in awhile; he would intentionally missed her phone calls (even when I’m not around); if they texted a little more or he did answer her phone call, we would let me know. But I think the most important one is that, he lets me know that he truly loves me and me only in our day-to-day life.

    To answer your question on what do you do to make your gf feel better, I don’t think there is a specific thing you can do to make her feel better. If you and your ex are in the same friend circle and it’s almost impossible to not contact your ex, I think the only solution is to build trust, let her know she can trust you.

  26. My wife has stayed in touch with some of her exes, mainly through FB, and I don’t care about them (except 1 person).

    We recently ran into some of my past and she got exasperated pretty fast. I was amused. I don’t need to make her feel better. I don’t cheat. If she feels threatened, that’s her issue. But she shouldn’t feel threatened and I wouldn’t try to make her feel that way.

  28. I don’t have a gf now, but I personally do mind keeping any contact with my ex gf 😀
    But if I were to get into a relationship and I was in touch with my ex, then I would call the quits and say our goodbyes and part ways with my ex.
    Ghosts of the past are not worth ruining possibility of a happy future.

  29. My wife hangs out with some of the women I was involved with.

    Once in a while there is a bit of discomfort, but overall she can see that they are pretty awesome people and she knows she’s awesome so they all remain friends.

    Two of them are quite close to my kids and have aunt status and they have been an incredibly positive influence on the children too.

    I actually think a bit of time and some commitment on all sides on making everyone see why they are all still in my life was key. It has to be worth it though…. Because the first few years there was quite a bit of bickering.

  30. All of my ex-girlfriends are great friends of mine. If a woman isn’t mature enough to undertand that a man can be friends with his exs, she is not emotionally mature and shouldn’t be in a romantic relationship.

    My current girlfriend doesn’t like that I’m close with my exs, but that is her problem, not mine. If she can’t deal with it, she knows where the door is at.

  31. My wife knows that the one girl I actually call a friend, her and I used to date, as far as what keeps her comfortable, the girl ended up being a lesbian so yay lol

  32. as a girl, I don’t mind if my partner is friends with Ex’s. actually it’s a green flag if that’s the case knowing he’s ended things good terms with them. the only issue would be if he constantly messages her or if they meet up alone but other than that if you’re insecure then 🤷🏽‍♀️. more of a red flag to me when a partner has completely removed their ex unless it’s justified. i used to completely block and remove any ex’s from my life just because I didn’t see the point, but after my last I’ve been able to build a close and wholesome friendship with him so no, wouldn’t have an issue. same goes for men when girls are friends with theirs

  33. That’s a hard question. My did that with his ex and then cheated on her with his previous ex that he was friends with. When he was with me, he supposedly had no contact with that ex but ran to her the moment I broke up with him and magically they were really close after 12 years no contact…😒😆

  34. I’ve remained friends with some exes throughout my life – with most of those friendships eventually fading away – but one still active after 9 years.

    No idea if everyone else here is dating extremely jealous or immature people, but none of my previous partners (except one long ago) had any sort of problem with this, or needed to “made to feel better” over it.

  37. I rarely ever talk to my exes to begin with. Like once in a very while every year we might catch up via texting and nothing else. I just continue moving on with my life. Even if I was dating or in a current relationship my main focus would be on my current girlfriend regardless

  40. Nope.

    I’m friends with a few of my past partners and there is no problem whatsoever.

    It’s called trust and honesty.

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