What stupid joke(s) still make you laugh to this day?

11 comments

1. Did you hear the one about the pizza?

   It was extra cheesy.

2. #1
   A man is climbing to the top of a mountain and when he gets to the top…he sees a lamp. He picks it up and dusts it off. Suddenly a genie pops out!

   The Genie says: “You have released me from my lamp! I will grant you 1 wish from the following three choices! I will make you the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world!”

   The man is shocked at what has just happened, but sits and ponders his options. He starts speaking his thoughts to the genie.

   “Well, if I’m the most popular man in the world…that would be great, but I’d be reliant on the approval of others for my happiness. If I was the richest man in the world, everyone knows money can’t buy happiness. But, if I was the wisest man, I’d always have a gift to help people and the world.”

   The man makes his decision “Genie, make me the wisest man in the world!”

   The genie says “It is done.”

   Suddenly, the man’s eyes peer out into the distance, like he’s peering into the universe. He walks a few steps and sits down on a rock, head in his hand, lost deep in thought.

   Then, after a few moments, he looks up at the genie and says “I should have chosen the money.”

   ——————————————————————————————————
   #2
   There are three old ladies sitting on a park bench, just chatting the day away, like old ladies tend to do.

   Suddenly, a man with a trench coat walks up and flashes them with all that god had offered him.

   The first old lady had a stroke right away.

   The second old lady had a stroke soon after.

   The third old lady, being more old and feeble, couldn’t reach that far.

   ————————————————————————————————–
   #3
   A doctor is delivering a baby. He’s telling the mother to push.

   “Push!! Push!! I can see the head!”

   The mother is straining to get the baby out with all she’s got. The baby starts to come out and the doctor continues to yell for her to push.

   The baby finally comes out into the doctor’s hands…

   …and he drops the baby. Everyone hears the baby hit the floor, the mother, the nurses, everyone. The mother is screaming hysterically! “My baby!”

   The doctor says “Oops, I’m sorry.” and he leans down to pick up the baby and STEPS on the baby.

   The doctor says “oops” again.

   The mother is freaking out, totally losing it!

   The doctor picks up the baby and brings it up to the mother and says, “Relax, it’s a stillborn.”

3. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

   One’s really heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.

4. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

   Because they taste funny.

5. Two cannibals are eating someone, one from the head, one from the feet. One turns to the other and says “you liking it?”. The other cannibal says “yeah im having a ball”, to which the other cannibal says, “slow down im not that far yet!”

6. When does a joke become a dad joke?

   When the punchline becomes apparent.

7. Why the mermaid wear seashells? Bshells were too small and D shells too big

8. If you kiss your honey and your nose is runny, you might think it’s funny but it snot.

9. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

   ’tis the C that he loves!

10. John Jacob Astor, the richest man on the Titanic was reportedly heard saying after the ship hit the iceberg.

    “I asked for more ice, but this is ridiculous.”

11. [This](https://youtu.be/yDSNJr__OiQ)