I need advice.
I’ve been dating a guy (call him J) for about 4 months, which I know isn’t long, but it’s been the best. We are so compatible, and in every way he’s been what I’ve needed. Beginning of last week, he told me he loves me. I’ve met all his friends, he’s taken me to his soccer games he plays and coaches, and he’s been my best friend.
However, last week quickly turned into a bad soap opera – his roommate tased and bit his friend that was here visiting from England, and the meltdown from that was astonimical. He separated from his wife end of last year in a messy breakup, and she’s heard about us and is making his life as difficult as possible (they got a dog together, and now she’s making it really hard for him to ever see Buster, even though he’s senior and dying). It’s all been really rough on him.
Last night he came over and said he cares about me so much and he feels panicked and like he needs to be single for a while. In my heart I feel like the stress of last week was too much on him (literally involved police reports and restraining orders), and he’s just freaking out. He said that me being there for him meant the world during it, but he needs to figure out his head. His brother also made a comment that he’s codependent, and even though the next sentence out of his mouth was “you’re not that way with Kena, though” it’s scared my J. I told him I want him to be healthy and happy and his mental health is important, and he said he wished I would have just punched him because it would have made it easier on him.
He said he wants to go to dinner and talk soon, and I know I’ll want to, but I also want him to take time and breathe so we can eventually be okay. We held each other and cried and we still kissed last night, the feelings are so obviously still there.
I don’t know what to do, obviously I need to give him space right now, but idk how to proceed to give us our best chances. Please help. My little heart is in pain right now.