Can women sense that you’re shy and socially awkward and not confident even before we talk?

34 comments

1. Yes they can.

   Eye contact (or lack thereof), posture, the way you walk and dress all can lead women to conclude whether or not you are confident or shy/introvert.

   Oh, and cologne (or lack thereof)

2. Sometimes, and I actually prefer these kind of guys. It makes me feel better about my own social awkwardness. I would never date someone who is a very outgoing and social person.

3. Don’t know how you look, can’t help you there. But yes, they can. People in general can tell very easily.

4. Y e s. We smell it from a kilometer

5. I reckon folks all over the gender spectrum can pick up on that. I bet you can pick up on it too, start looking at anybody that talks to you and try to focus on their body language and the way they carry themself, then listen to what they have to say.

6. tells as if it was a forehead tattoo.

7. Yes, so can men. Men tend to be more attracted to shy women than women to shy men however. So not as big a problem.

8. Many people of all genders can detect nervousness/lack of confidence via body language, yes. It’s often difficult for them to identify exactly what they noticed, because for a lot of people it’s totally intuitive, but typically, it’s stuff like your posture (stand up and look at yourself in a full length mirror standing sideways – are your shoulders and ears directly above your hips, or are you hunched over?), how you’re holding your arms (crossed vs in your pockets vs hanging loose), whether you stride quickly or shuffle, etc.

9. First thing to keep in mind is to not defeat yourself before you talk to a girl or beat yourself up over not doing well. Simply be natural. If you’re being unnatural then it’s not the real you. In terms of being less awkward; try and have it be a natural setting.
   Naturally meet a girl at work, through friends, church, get together etc. those videos of guys walking up to random girls and using the right phrases is stupid and doesn’t work. The best way to be confident is to keep eye contact, good posture, and talk good about yourself in your head. Those are affirmations; you can even look it up.

   No doubts, no worry that you’re gonna do something wrong, just be you. I’ve been there with being too nervous to talk to girls but, after awhile you begin to just flow with everything. Something like saying hello to a girl at work/asking if it’s been a busy day,asking if she needs help with something, being in church and saying hi to a girl and mention how you haven’t introduce yourself yet. Things like that, something simple that starts a friendship.

   Again remember to not defeat yourself, despite what tv likes to show; every normal woman loves attention and I means LOVES attention. So going up to any girl and starting a convo is never a bad idea, girls like it when you talk to them. Again ignore stuff we see on tv with girls critiquing every move you make and laughing at your face. That’s bogus stuff that we’ve been subjected to. I hope this helped.

10. Women are people – they’re half of all the humans alive.
    PEOPLE in general can sense when you dont think of them as equals… your mindset is the problem.

11. Yes.

12. Absolutely. You exist and can be perceived without opening your mouth.

13. Yes, they usually can.

    It’s all about the way you carry yourself, my man.

    Even if you are socially awkward, not confident, and shy; just own it. I find that girls (and people in general) will see that you’re not trying to be something you’re not, and that in itself is appealing. Kind of like fake it till’ you make it except you’re simply just being you, and women (and genrrally people) like it a lot better than trying to be someone you’re not.

    Personally, I’m a 5’3 guy , mid 20’s, who’s pretty anxious most of the time and not always the most confident in myself. Over the years I’ve been with a few people, and I can say that it doesn’t per say get easier, but you learn that everyone has insecurities. When I feel like I’m being awkward, sometimes I’ll just apologize and say, “sorry, I’m just a little awkward sometimes ahah” and honestly it helps me a lot. Another example is I will just full on make a comment about how I’m pretty short, then it’s out there and I don’t have to worry about it. If they like it they like it, if they don’t then they just don’t. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea but there are for sure women who just love authentic guys, even if that’s just that you’re a bit awkward.

    In essence, focus less on what you can do to make women like you, and just focus on being you. Most women would rather have someone who’s authentically themselves than a really social, popular guy, who’s nice to look at.

    This may not be the answer you were hoping for, but I hope it helps.

14. Be yourself that way u know they like the real you .

15. Women have woman’s intuition

16. Yes. Body language, eye contact, sometimes how someone dresses is spot on with their personality as well

17. Most communication of non-verbal.

18. Yes they can and guys can do the same for girls

19. Women don’t have any silly “super sense” to “detect” shyness. Everyone can tell.

    And it’s okay to be shy or unconfident. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad person at all.

20. [removed]

21. Yes, in general women want *you* to approach them.

22. I think they can. As a woman I can pretty much read a guy right away. Some men surprise me, but most don’t. I think it’s important for you to keep trying and not give up. Also remember having a girl isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Initial sparks fade overtime and relationships are hard. If you really want one just remember to be confident even if your not. Pretend like you are and you’ll start to be.

23. Yes

24. Hey bud, it’s okay to have some humility in life.
    Make sure you have good posture.
    There’s something to standing/sitting tall that commands attention and feels strong.

25. Read “the game by Neil Strauss”

26. Yes. But you can work on this. Presenting yourself with more confidence. Remember, you are just as valuable as everyone else.

27. I am screwed

28. Yes. The only way to cure it is to not give a shit. ie have no desires for any specific outcome. whatever happens, happens.

29. Well women are people so like most people they can also figure out that someone is shy and socially awkward.

30. yes

31. It’s called body language honey

32. Not really, we can’t see through you the way you think we can. Although I might think this if a guy is talking really quietly, avoiding eye contact, or has closed off body language but that could also make me think he just isn’t interested so it depends.

33. Yes and so can men, most reactions from women are what you would get from men. Some will be friendly, some sympathetic, some rude, some flirty, some shy.

34. I can tell in a chat based on how they respond