“I’ll take what I can get” meaning you will go for women who do not meet your desired standards, you will just go for them because you know those women like you a lot. Or perhaps you will go for them because your options are limited.

40 comments

  3. ive done this and heres the problem. since you arent really into them and you cant fake it, youre gonna treat them very differently than youd treat your dreamgirl.
    naturally theyre gonna notice this. since they dont know that youre not really into them, theyre gonna be confused and frustrated. then youre gonna be frustrated bc theyre expecting you to look at them the way youd look at margot robbie but you cant bc they arent.

  4. Pretty bad.

    Believe it or not there are far far worse things then not being in a relationship. You can flex on some things if you really feel the need to but there are other things you should never flex on.

  5. if you say it with a little bit of stink, yeah it sounds defeating but idk man like some people do take what they can get and they don’t hold any hostility towards the matter.

    we take what income is available to us, we take which school is available to us, which car is available to us and etc. sure the goal is to get the best quality accessible, but maybe that is in fact the best you can get. maybe some people are more practical and they don’t see that mentality as negative?

    if you’re talking about someone specific, just go on a couple of dates with them. flight of the Conchords say “a kiss is not a contract“ just go on a few dates and feel it out.

  6. I think that a lot of ppl now believe that they are deserve better than they really do. Just remember how unattractive person demands his\her date be “tall, fit, handsome\beautiful, wealthy” and so on.

    Yes, appearance is not everything it could be compensated if you have smth else: career; money, etc.

    But a lot of ppl can’t be objective when it comes to themselves so they make unrealistic demands. Like a humble office worker wants his date to be super-model with 6 figure income who will love him forever.

    So actually its not “lower my standards” but “make realistic expectations”

  7. Yeah no, you will end up doing shitty things to them subconsciously because you don’t like them all that much in reality. Please don’t hurt other people just to fulfill some bullshit societal status requirement.

  8. I think it’s more a matter of not having stupid standards. When a guy’s idea of a perfect woman is based on social media influencer pictures, those aren’t high standards: they’re stupid standards.

  10. Desperation never leads to happiness

    It is one thing to be desperate and another to set a standart, even if it is low

  11. when you’ve been single for as long as i have “i’ll take what i can get” is all i can hope for

  12. Never do it. I made this mistake. It can destroy you.

    Work on your confidence and get the woman you want.

  13. Simply put; if you have standards for a person then you, yourself should meet those standards at a MINIMUM.

  14. It depends on what those “standards” are. If they are superficial, they actually it’s great to just ignore them and go for it. If it’s lifestyle and personality traits… It’s going to be a waste of your time, and theirs. Dating someone who does drugs regularly and doesn’t work, when you are interested in a partner who has a career and would be a good mother to your future children (just as an example)

  15. I think it’s a pretty toxic mindset to have to be honest. I’d rather be alone than string someone along, that’s just cruel.

  16. Don’t do it! It’s unhealthy and unfair to everyone involved. You’re doing yourself a disservice by settling for someone that doesn’t meet your criteria of what you’d ideally look for in a partner, which is in turn unfair and misleading to your partner as you’re just with them due to convenience and low self esteem, which is an awful reason to string someone along, especially if they really like you. imagine finding out your partner thought “meh I’m not really that into them but I guess they’ll do as they’re my only option and I probably can’t do better”… that’s hurtful, exploitative and a waste of their time.

  18. If you’re attracted to them and ** more importantly** they’re someone with whom you could see yourself having healthy relationship that meets both of your needs, then it’s fine.

    If she isn’t a match on the latter front, regardless of how attractive you find her, don’t fucking stay in a relationship out of loneliness and desperation. That’s not healthy for her long term happiness nor yours.

  19. “Never date ayone *you* dont think is a 7 or more*

    I would rather be aloje then pretend to be attracted to someone, thas not fair to them either

  20. Just be realistic. Women are people and allowed to have their own standards. Very attractive women want to date attractive men. That doesn’t make them bad. You also want to date attractive people. So…if you’re average or lower your odds of dating a super attractive person is low. Try to be a better person who is less focused on appearance and more focused on the person.

  21. I’ve never had a girlfriend, and this kind of mentality is exactly what I’m afraid of having.

  23. That is absolutly DETRIMENTAL to your Soul. DO NOT do that. Get:
    – FIT
    – More Money
    – Better Grooming
    – Better Habits

    all of that will lead to an overall quality of life, confidence and dating success.

  24. > desired standards

    That works fine for getting a job, buying food, buying clothes, buying a car, finding a place to live, deciding what to watch on TV, selecting music, borrowing a book from the library, and most everything else.

    You gotta worry about when they don’t meet your minimum standards. Or if you haven’t defined your minimum standards.

    If you’d desire a supermodel but get the girl next door, you’ll be pretty happy. If you absolutely refuse to date heroin addicts, but decide “just this one date one time because I’m horny” that will not end well.

  26. It’s a defeatist view for those who have options or have what it takes to go after them, which is a part of the male population that I’m not part of and that certainly doesn’t know how true loneliness feels like from the romantic standpoint.

    For someone like me, who’s never had anything more than a kiss, lost chances with really nice girls and was just ghosted by the ones I tried to go after, it’s not defeatist at all, it’s just a realistic way of not ending up alone. And no, it’s not because I have unrealistic standards built by porn or social media, which is a common strawman thrown around, it’s because I don’t demand from others what I can’t offer myself, and even that is not enough.

  27. I recently got off of WooPlus after feeling like this at 37 only bc everyone just wanted to bone me. I used to be hot. Even when I was 30. Not now. If the fat women think I’m hot then I’m hot to skinny women too I just gotta keep trying

  28. I’ve reached the point of “ I’m incapable of attracting anyone,” so yes, there is a lower point to reach.

  29. If you want a formal relationship, it is quite defeatisit. However, if you’re just fooling around, we got perfect sayings for this in México:

    “El que escoge no coge” (He who chooses does not fuck).

    “El que coge con feas coge más” (He who fucks with ugly women fucks more)

  30. Never have standards. I’ve been married for a long time now but I dated around for quite a bit before. Objectively, I dated women who were more attractive than her, and had funnier personalities than her, etc. Shes incredibly beautiful and has a great personality however, but isn’t like a 10/10.

    I know it’s cliché but the moment I met her I knew I needed to be with her forever. She’s beautiful and has a great personality but won’t ever objectively look like a supermodel or anything. Just find someone you have a good relationship with. Doesn’t matter if they look like a hunchback. As long as they’re a good person that’s all that matters. If you’re looking for checkboxes you’re dating incorrectly.

  31. When it comes to looks, I don’t think it’s too big of an issue, so long as *YOU* find your partner attractive. However, if the thought of sleeping with your partner repulses you, then you need to be honest with yourself and go for someone you do find attractive.

    When it comes to lifestyle, however, you should most definitely not be settling for a partner. If you guys are incompatible on a fundamental level, you guys are simply incompatible. Don’t try to make it work. It’ll only lead to resentment…

  32. All dating women I don’t like would accomplish would be taking them away from guys who would

    That’s an infinitely bigger asshole move than me being shallow and selective

  33. It’s harmful to everyone involved with the relationship. Especially if kids enter the picture.

  34. Its easy to say “never settle” but some people are born so ugly that there is no choice in the matter.

  35. Um, to have a little fun is fine, but standards are needed. I wanted stable, no junkies and fun….I got lucky and found the one!!

  36. Thats a horrible reason to date anyone.

    The person youre dating deserves to be with someone that truly wants and desires them. Not someone who decided theyd do until they can find something better

  37. I think it’s bad in the long term. It can work out. But I think you’ll eventually resent them for YOU settling, when they’ve done nothing wrong.

  39. The iot what I get mentality is only successful if you’re only looking for sex. If you have this mentality purely for the sake of clapping cheeks, naturally you’ll get lucky more often because your mind is open to a wider array of options. However, for a relationship this is pretty bad and emotionally abusive.

  40. I asked my ex a similar question, putting it in terms “are you the kind of person who gets what they want or gets what they can?”

    And she said she’s a get what she can kind of person. That was a very telling sign to me how much room for happiness she makes in her life as settling for less than happy options is unsatisfying. Even as a guy, I don’t think I can do that. Just sounds very defeating.

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