Of course the obvious answer to some may be “to ask them why”, but to me that looks kind of cringy and desperate. Thus, if they reject you because of something you did, you won’t really have any way of knowing and may repeat that same mistake down the line. Is there a better way to tell?

10 comments

  1. Sometimes I think people should tell why they break from you. But sometimes it’s their right to leave their friends/SO in silence. I did both things and both things were done to me. Hurts both ways, i admit. It is what it is

  2. Can you give any more info? What kind of thing could you have done/how do you know this person etc. Regardless I would say that if someone rejects you it doesn’t really matter why, they rejected you and that’s it, move on.

  4. If you’ve done something wrong then the most common bodylanguage would be expression of frustration when they see you (quick exhaling/face turns a bit grim/might inpatiently look at you like you must ask forgivness) – depends of what you could habe done really. Sometimes it might even be what someone else has told that person about you (might even be a lie idk ppl are weird). If they are genually just not into you then holding a long distance from you is most common.

  5. Do you have theory of mind? Have you made an effort to understand things from the perspective of others? If you can consider what your behavior looks like to someone from their pov it is sometimes possible to understand their motivations without having to have it spelled out for you.

  6. Imo it doesn’t matter why they rejected you, a no is a no. It’s better not to waste time on people who already said no.

  7. Maybe ask them to still be friends. If you took a friend and tried to make them more than a friend for some monumental shift into intimacy which wasn’t there to begin with, I imagine they would immediately tell you that’s all I want to be is friends! Y0U are trying to make it more than friends! Y0URE doing this! I just don’t know the context

  8. It will always be both, no? Something you do gives away who you are. Who you are determines what you do.

  9. doesn’t matter
    they weren’t interested, keep moving
    maybe one day you’ll find out but be comfortable knowing you may never know

  10. There is nothing cringy about self improvement. Frame your inquiry in that manner; “hey pertaining to things not working out on that level; was it something I did/said or a certain way I might have acted? I’m just asking because I’m still interested in putting myself out there in the future so if there is anything you would recommend I can work on? Let me know.”

    Also gotta remember that people are so different. One person might find your fashion/humor/interests to be off putting, and someone might really be into that. That’s why you gotta maintain a certain level of self identity and just work on conversation skills and topics

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