Say you had zero friends and you were single with no prospects. Let’s also pretend that you are unemployed and in a new area.

What steps do you take to make friendships with people and build a social life from scratch?

29 comments

  1. Lol I had to do this a LOT as a kid

    I went to like 5 differant schools in one year

    Fuck, this is actually a normal state of being for me

    Idk it usually takes me a while to get comfortable enough to talk

    Give me enough time and I’ll start talking eventually

  2. Join a dojo (offer to put in volunteer hours to pay for classes), find a meet-up for pick-up frisbee or volleyball, and look for the closest adult education center and sign up for a foreign language class.

  3. I’m sort of in this situation right now. I didn’t really make friends after highschool and my relationships that persevered from then have begun to fizzle out, leaving me on my own. I try to be a likable person, and I am in therapy for my social anxiety that has hindered me at times. I’m in the higher mid twenties and I’d really like to turn my life around.

  4. Get out and do things. Sign up for clubs, community activities, and projects. Anything that you can share an interest in and force interaction is going to progress things a lot quicker than other methods.

  5. I’d look around for some kind of tabletop game or D&D group, or failing that, find a volunteer opportunity to do after work or on weekends like working at a food pantry.

    While at those activities, talk to people and try to see if I hit it off with anyone.

  7. My recommendation is to just focus on yourself. Don’t be one of those guys that actively pursues public activities just to meet people. Chances are if that’s your goal you’ll be constantly disappointed

    Just focus on yourself, enjoy your life and you will meet people along the way organically

  10. Get a job first – you can’t expect to stand out to a person for a date if you can’t pay for meals, events or have to get driven everywhere.

    Ask around to your new co-workers on where the best thing to do or place to eat at and then go check them out. People love talking about pleasant experiences so ask them what they enjoy most and try to integrate yourself organically with that.

  11. Let me know when you find out. All my old friends are doing the family thing while I’m doing the career thing.

    I just saw the unemployed thing. Join a union. General labors or specific trade regardless that’s your best bet if you aren’t planning on going to college in order to make great money.

  12. 1) Volunteer – you’re bound to meet people who have the same vaues

    2) Meetups – what are your interests? Go meet people who have the same interestes

    3) Dance Lessons – always a fun way to meet people and socialize

    4) Try to form a circle – it only takes two friends who get alone with both you and each other to start a circle. Once you have a circle you can start going to stuff together, meeting new people, meeting their friends, etc.

    5) Don’t turn down any invitations

    6) Don’t be afraid of doing things alone.

  13. Take some dance classes and 1-2 other hobbies and do those every week. Go on a retreat if you can with the group(s) be social.

  14. Some of these “advice” are pretty wild! Join a Lutheran church? Form a circle? What?!😂😂😂😂..

  15. If you can find a job where the co-workers are around your age (give or take 5-10 years) and then they go out for drinks after work that’s what really spurred my social life in a new city.

    Sales jobs are full of outgoing people who like to unwind after work. Bartending/working at a bar is basically an invite to “the industry” which is basically the social group of all the people who work at bars where they hangout and go out

  16. “I am an experienced forever gm who doesn’t want to be a player.” Dnd nerds from every dark corner of your new place will flock to your banner.

  17. Get a job with colleagues. That will give you an immediate friends base and the money to spend on social activities. You will meet other friends through these.

  18. Dunno. Everyone in the internet is a total fraud at least, so there’s nothing to be gained from here.

    Source: Trust me brah. I’ve been online for about 20 years now.

  19. Do stuff, most people that struggle with meeting people just don’t really do stuff outside of their apartment.

    Meet all the people when doing stuff. No pressure, no commitments no forced jokes.

    Have fun with the people you meet. For some it’s a conversation, others find similar humor and most just need to vent. Enjoy your time with them, with the security that you can move away in just a few minutes.

    Meet up with the people you have most fun with casually
    People that enjoy your company as well, tend to stick around.

    Cross introduce people from different settings that you keep hanging out with.

    Do planned stuff together.

    Cry and get drunk together once in a while.

  20. Go tot he nearest park. Find the most miserable looking Dad. The one who looks like a perpetually sleep-deprived depressed zombie with Karen-like wife and hellions for kids.

    Grab him and hug him hard *”I feel you dude. I UNDERSTAND. You’re fucking brave and awesome. Lets go grab a beer”.*

  21. Bruh I’m doing that right now and have no intentions of having a social life from now on.

    Besides the sprinkling of good times in all areas in life unfortunately though Its also tons of disappointments. Toxic bs jokes at your expense, and no one standing up for you.
    I sure have attracted a lot of shithead narcs but that’s probably because I’m easily manipulated.

    Honestly fuck 99.9% of people. They all suck and everyone’s a liar, even if at least by omission. Cant trust no one no more.

  22. Stop making the goal “having friends” but rather, and that maybe sound dumb, work on yourself such that people want to be your friend.

    Same goes for relationship; as soon as you are content by yourself and don’t require someone else is when they will be around the corner.

    You aren’t happy because of somebody else, you are happy because of yourself.

    Besides that, picking up hobbies to to with other people and going outside of the house will likely help

  24. CAR MEETS!!! Seriously, with just a bit of effort you’ll find new friends, you don’t even need to know a lot about cars, usually people are very happy to explain what’s something or what they did. I’m introverted af but car meets have always helped me. Not to mention you can see a lot of cars, which adds points of fun.

  25. I would try to **find community.** Join a club if some sort like a DnD group, a biking club, or get involved in the community by joining a church or a civic organization. Lots of places have neighborhood or community organizations that are always looking for volunteers and that can be a great way to meet people. The key is really to get yourself *involved*, actively participating in something with other people.

    After you have met a bunch of people in passing, identify people you have something in common with and invite them to have lunch or coffee together, maybe saying you wanted to talk about something pertaining to your shared activity. Some of them may not want to, some of them may, don’t take it personally, its something you can’t really control.

    If you feel like you get “stuck”, unable to meet with folks in more friendly capacities then you need to either change your approach or change your scene. Or both. When in doubt, explore new communities and see what happens.

    Try to be curious and earnest without being desperate. There are a lot of people in the world, and some will want to be your friends.

  27. Take classes, any classes. Painting, pottery, welding, glass blowing, wood working, improv, guitar, tap dancing, karate, yoga. Be nice, don’t try to get dates, just be a friend. The saying is “Don’t shit where you eat” or one of many variations, the classes are for fulfillment and friends. You make friends at class. Then, you’re an interesting person with lots of friends who do interesting things and the universe will provide dates.

  28. Go to a bar on their slow days, get one, maybe two drinks at most, and make those drinks last.
    You know who you’ll end up talking to on slow days? Bartenders.
    You know who usually has interesting life stories or hobbies? Bartenders
    You know who has the best info about who else you should and should not talk? Bartenders.

    Plus bartenders are just cool to know in general. My best friend right now is someone I asked to pour me a cup of poison once.

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