I’m hoping I can get some good advice on this. To summarize ever since a few years ago I’ve completely stopped leaving the house after some traumatizing things happened to me. I have no friends, girlfriend, don’t have a job, don’t attend college. It goes without saying I’m extremely weird and mentally ill. I have extreme paranoia and anxiety in particular with being around others and going outside. The last few times I’ve left my house I felt as though I’d get sucked into the sky, like my feet would lose gravity and that every person I came across was coming to hurt me. I stay inside all day every day as I’ve been hurting trying to deal with my pain that just gets worse. I’ve gone for mental health in the past and have taken medications but it never helped me and I stopped that altogether. I was even in a psychiatric facility for a while but it was a horrible place and it made things worse for me mentally. I used to have a girlfriend actually a few years ago and a few friends despite the fact fact I’ve actually been very weird and socially awkward my entire life. I’m surprised I’m still here tbh. I’ve decided to sign up for college classes hoping that the structure and social exposure will do something for me. It will be a little while before I start and I really think I need to start exposing myself again to the world before that time comes. I’ve been thinking about going to the park, walking around town, going to see a movie at the theaters. Even that though is a frightening thought. I think to myself “Today I could go out, or tomorrow, I can just go up to someone, say hi and even if they are mean to me it’ll be okay” but then that never happens. Another day passes. Another week passes. Another month passes. I’m sure this sounds extremely disturbing and I haven’t mentioned the worst of it. I’ve just been severely traumatized and have no one and nothing to lean on. I worry so much about things. I’m not home binging netflix but more so pacing my room worrying about things. It’s actually a really good day for me if I can do anything no matter how simple or basic it is. I wonder if I will ever lead a successful life or one where I can enjoy something again. I wonder if I will make it the next week or month. I’m not sure anyone will be able to give me any good advice here. My plan though is to do something and at least give things another chance. There has to be a way for people like me to recover and turn things around. That’s what I hope.
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>There has to be a way for people like me to recover and turn things around.
Absolutely.
But I’m afraid that will take more than reddit advice of “just go out, face your discomfort what’s the worst that can happen”, although that advice is valid.
Send a few emails and see if you can get some professional help (i. E. A competent therapist).
first, call doc
then, with medicals and therapy, you will be able to get out of house easily
Don’t know how to link but YouTube EMDR
I’m on the way to entering this path as well. I only go out to meet my bf, I have no other friends. When he’s busy or away I just stay at home. I used to be so confident going out by myself but now I get so paranoid. I also feel how you do, that people are out to try and hurt me, even complete strangers. If someone makes eye contact with me in public, I assume the worst.
I started wearing sunglasses when I go out as I don’t have to feel as anxious about the eye contact situation. I just had to eventually force myself to leave the house, because the longer you stay in for the harder it comes and the more anxious you get.
I would recommend contacting a professional. Also, when you’re at college and make acquaintances with people, offer to meet up with them even if it’s just on campus to study or something.
Have you been diagnosed with Agoraphobia previously? I agree with the other advice given here. You need to see professional help to work your way out of the house. There should be plenty of research information available online and doctors can do tele-appointments so you don’t need to leave while you find the path you need to take. In the mean time, maybe spend more time watching the world from a window or sitting on your door step til you’re ready to take the next steps. Do you have a backyard or a balcony? Are you able to take a meal out in the sunshine a few times a week or perhaps a morning coffee? Vitamin D deficiency is a real problem. Best of luck.
I would strongly suggest starting with telehealth therapy, if it’s available to you
If your car or computer stopped working, and the first mechanic wasn’t any good, you wouldn’t just give up and be like “I deserve to suffer without it”. You would get a second mechanic.
You need to call a doctor and get professional help. Unlike last time, this time you’re stable and ready to leave your home but unsure how to go about it. A good therapist would have phone/video call appointment with you to discuss your transition to outside.
Agoraphobia is a real medical disorder. You’d get diabetes treated, you’d get a gross, itchy skin condition treated. You need treatment for your agoraphobia. Other illnesses don’t magically go away if you ignore them. This won’t either.
i’m sort of in a similar situation, basically i’ve been very mentally sick for years hiding away in my room. now i’m able to function but completely isolated and have no clue where to start.