My boyfriend (33M) and I (27F) have been dating for about 5 months. The sex was great the first few months-multiple times a day-but now he won’t even touch me. I got diagnosed with MS mid February and he has barely touched me since. He takes care of me in every other way and I think he really cares; but i still feel like he’s no longer sexually attracted to me. I’ve tried to get him interested but haven’t had much luck. What should I do?
13 comments
Talk to him about how you’re feeling with this topic.
Have you tried communicating how you’re feeling to him?
Have you talked to him about it? If you haven’t, bring it up and tell him exactly what you wrote here, and ask him why things changed. Knowing the reason is the only way to come to a solution.
Break up with him.
Have you ask him for sex and he said no?? He probably think that he is protecting you with diagnosis of MS.
My GF and I have this issue and it’s probably the biggest in our relationship. I lose the drive to have sex after being in a relationship for a couple months and my anxiety keeps me from it as well. We try to do at least one sexual thing a week even if it is just me pleasuring her. We also try to talk about it often. It really is hard and I hate that I am like this. If he doesn’t agree to making small changed to benefit you both or continues to accuse you that it’s all you care about when sex is important to a healthy relationship then you need to leave him as it’s not fair to you.
It sounds like his view of you has changed. You need to decide if your bf is worth trying to work thru this. That he cares about you, is wonderful, but if he sees you like you are fragile, is not.
And, you have needs. You’re still in the “honeymoon” stage if the relationship. It only gets tougher from here …..
To be fair, taking care of a sick partner is a lot to deal with in a relationship that’s only 5 months long.
Maybe he’s burnt out?
I am sorry about your diagnosis. I grew up with a family member with MS, and it’s difficult. Which may be the cause of this. The disease progresses, if he is aware of this it may genuinely impact his certainty, or lack there of, of what the future holds for you two.
Maybe he truly doesn’t understand MS, and thinks it is contagious, or impacted by sex somehow, or I really dont know.
This isn’t normal behavior, he has a psychological block. Maybe it is not MS related at all. Confusing.
Your diagnosis is messing with him. He may be doing the Madonna thing with you. ie switching to protecting/providing mode. He may just be scared for you.
I can totally feel where you are coming from. Honestly I wish there was a fix, I wish there was a solution to this. I just explained my feelings to my girlfriend saying that the lack of intimacy is making me feel undesired and impacting my self esteem and she turned it on me and blamed me for not being able to find happiness outside of intimacy with her. I’m so frustrated, I don’t even know whether I want to go back to sleeping in the same bed with her.
5 months and already an issue this big has come that he is unwilling to communicate on?
Move on. This is not worth the long term heartbreak.
Find a new boyf!!!