My husband and I both have never been turned on much by the idea of anal… until recently I’m having intense desires for him to pound my ass…. like really hard just like he does my pussy. I have always been submissive so it isn’t anything shocking to me but the problem is that I’m quite petite (5’2 120lb) and it is tiny (he says so tight that he can barely get a tip of a finger in.. with lube), and any kind of anal play just seems to hurt. Recently we got a toy that is like a dildo of anal beads to see how much I could take and the third bead (which is like 1/3rd the size of the last one) already hurts.
I understand that the advice is to keep practicing and keep trying to stretch it and use lots of lube but my question is whether having my man (above average but not huge, and more lengthy than girthy) destroy my ass with a balls deep pounding is something I should just accept will have to stay as only a fantasy?
and also I’ve had hemorrhoids before which is another reason I have doubts that living this out is in the cards for me…
18 comments
You have one life. Make yor fantasies real
You’ve gotta be completely relaxed when having any type of anal play, if not it’s gonna be even tighter and more painful.
And yes I’m gonna tell you to just take your time, and experiment with different toys, techniques etc.
The human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage. A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as 4 inches, Meaning you can take almost two full raccoons up your ass
It’s not about “stretching” it, it is about learning how to relax your muscles. This can be the hard part for some people and it really just takes practice to learn how to fully relax.
Anal should NEVER hurt.
The main issue is relaxation!! I’m petite like you . If you can orgasm another way once or twice before anything goes near your butt it will help alot. Also you could get him to use a massage wand on you, but actually massage your pelvis, your glutes, really help relax your whole pelvis . It can help alot. Then I would say invest in some butt plugs. It’s the easiest way to get ready. I put one in for about 10 minutes while he gets me off and then I’m good to go. Also don’t know if your into it but weed helps me relax, so try and enjoy anything that makes you feel relaxed whatever your vices may be.
You definitely have to practice/train for it. When my ex and I did it we had to use beads and dildos to help loosen her up and get her used to it.
Instead, have him use a vibrator while you are bent over, but dont put it in, just on the outside. It feels so freakin good.
Anal is good.. I really like it. You have to practice and do it very slow and gentle when you’re starting
I have been in a similar situation, including history of hemorrhoids. Having a vibrator on me and also some internal vaginal penetration really helped me relax enough. Also butt plugs to train me. It took a long time and a lot of prep to make happen, just gotta keep at it if you feel comfortable.
Everyone has a right butthole when the are just starting. It’s not like the people that enjoy anal just started with no pain and a stretched out asshole. The way you are going into full detail about sex , it’s like you are looking for attention..
I’m a guy and for the longest time I could fit 3 fingers in a triangle, but no solid object wider than my thumb, and even that size hurt a bit, no matter how much lube I had.
The other day, I tried a toy around an inch and a half wide, or roughly 2 of my fingers across but totally round so even bigger. Doused it in lube and it still hurt like a son of a bitch and refused to go in more than the very tip. Keep in mind I have stools wider than that, no problem, pretty often. But the inner sphincter of my anus just wouldn’t allow it.
**TL:DR I managed it eventually.**
I slipped a finger in, to get it to loosen up for a minute, and then slowly pressed the lubed toy against my hole while relaxing my ass like I was trying to take a dump. It slid in with hardly any pain.
It’s all about lube, and getting everything to relax when it subconsciously wants to stay shut.
I would say just enjoy the feeling of you man’s thumb (with some lube or spit) rubbing your anus while you fuck. Don’t even have him insert it. Just get used to that first and learn to relax.
And when you feeling like you wanna take it a step further you can ask him to slowly and gently just push it against the hole. Not actually trying to penetrate but just doing this for a while. Making you more relaxed with the idea of butt play.
And eventually go further with him just pushing the tip of his thumb inside. Usually it’s easier if this us being done while fucking or while getting clitoral plesure as well. Cause then you already getting positive stimulation in other ways and just add on the anal stimulation.
Don’t forget lube and stop if you ever feel any sort of pain. Let him know that he needs to stop initially if you tell him to. And trust your partner. (If he actually is trustworthy. Otherwise don’t do anal with him)
You’re not relaxed or aroused enough. Absolutely nothing to do with your size. I’m 125lbs and 5’9. I can take a lot up my ass some days and other days can’t handle anything. It’s all about arousal and relaxation. You need to be very very aroused, perhaps playing with your clit, and super relaxed and then you’ll be fine. Most ppl do anal at some point or another so it’s not like you’re trying out something really inventive here, just think about you and what can get you super charged sexually while also feeling physically at ease
Get a vibrating butt plug. Leave it in for a while, it will relax your muscles. Also, do t forget to eat fiber before and think about an enema before you do it 🙂
Loosen up in the shower with your own fingers and lube. After a few tries you will be surprised at how much you can fit in there. Practice relaxing around your finger then fingers. You could get the plug sets that gradually get bigger but they’re honestly unnecessary If you can reach your hole with your hands.
When alone use lube and Your finger. No rush to put it in, touch the outside, lube, one tiny finger. in 1/4 inch, relax, keep it there for 1 minute. another 1/4 inch. It may take a week, 3 weeks til you learn to relax.
Anal is over rated dude
You can try to laugh.. No joke. Laughing relaxes and eases your muscles. I saw a few Interviews with Port Actress and she gave that as a tip.
Try using plugs during the day, it is not big and make your anus relax, the real problem is that you need to relax to, just like when you poop, sorry to give this exemple, but, for sure you poops sizes are big at some moments, anal sex is like the same, you need to relax