Long w TLDR- Why are guys like this? Am I (F18) just too much for the guy (M18) I was talking to? Would it be ok for me to contact him for closure?

I just got out of a long-term relationship, it was 2 years, and although it doesn’t sound long for my age it was really long. Once him and I broke up I took a year to find myself and to work on myself before getting into another relationship.

I met this guy, N, a couple of months ago. We got along together and I thought he was really cute and funny. I didn’t expect myself to like him so much but for the first couple of weeks I had spoken to him he was all I could think about, and the only guy that could make me feel as though I was about to have a heart attack every time I spoke to him. I know I sound clingy but I promise I wasn’t!! I acted casual, a little dry so as to not seem too interested,, yk. Something really sweet he told me, which I guess I’ll dive deeper into, later on, was that he only uses Instagram to talk to me and that he only really responded to me. Which made me feel really special.

Anyways, eventually, N asked me about what we were. What was our relationship? We hadn’t done anything physical, we just talked and spent a lot of time together and after the second time he asked me I told him I saw him as more than a friend, and he agreed. Which made me really happy. I was too nervous to tell him the first time so I just said “I don’t know”

But then he started putting less effort in like we would call on a regular basis and then he just slowly stopped. Like he would agree and say “Yes ofc!” but when it got towards the time I would go to sleep, 11 pm, he would say something like he was busy or just had dinner. Which always made me cry, because, why make plans and not follow through with them? It wasn’t like I was the only one asking too, he asked or agreed but would never follow through. He stopped replying with things that helpt make conversation but would always say “I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to say sometimes. I am interested in talking to you”.

I know he’s busy with things and probably has more things going on than I do, but every time I ask him “**How was your day? What did you do? :)**” he would say “**nothing much, it was ok**” but then when I would unsend things because he took too long to reply he would all of a sudden reply and would say he was busy? like it didn’t make sense, when I asked what he did throughout the day he wouldn’t tell me anything. Him being ‘busy’ just felt like an excuse. I confronted him and he just told me to stop unsending, that he was genuinely busy and when he wasn’t he would text me. The last text I sent got me left on delivered for 19 hours so I unsent it.

He went from telling me he was genuinely interested in me, calling me regularly, constantly asking me about things and trying things I asked him to. Too now being too busy to reply to my texts, not calling me for a whole month and putting video games over talking to me.

We had our first argument and made up. I asked him if he still wanted to talk and he said he did but wanted me to send a video of myself, because I’m normally too shy to send anything. I told him I felt uncomfortable and nervous, and that me doing this would make me not contact him for a bit because of how uncomfortable(?) and shy I was. he just said “Okay” after viewing the video of myself and me being weird because of how freaked out I was that I looked ugly.

The next day I apologized for how I acted weird, understood if he wasn’t comfortable talking to me anymore because I wasn’t his type etc. But after an exam I had and him not being active to check it I just unsent the message. But resent another the day after, which he didn’t reply to even after 19 hours but would view my story, so I unsent it. I can tell what happened, is this something normal that happens with dating now? Did I get ghosted or something??

I want some form of closure so that I don’t look back and get upset, worrying if I wasn’t pretty enough for a man that has his expectations for women ruined by porn (IMO). Could I send a text? or no? Any sort of advice? Please, I only have good intentions

TLDR: I was in the talking stage with a guy for a few months, he would say he was interested in me whilst responding dry because he “Didn’t know what to say”. I sent him a video of myself that he asked for, after an argument we had. I apologized and he left me on delivered for 19hours so I unsent my apology. Could I send another apology a week later? Or are things between him and I over?