My partner (22M) and I (21F) have been together for about two years, long distance for most of the relationship, so sex is infrequent but I’ve always thought we have a healthy sex life.
Now, I’ve never had an orgasm. Not from masturbating, not from oral, not from PIV, never. And I’m okay with that, I still enjoy sex and usually feel satisfied by the end.
But recently, I’ve been having an issue during penetrative sex where I get a horrible feeling of needing to pee. I know a lot of women say this is a sign of a coming orgasm, but to me it just feels horrible. It’s uncomfortable, it turns me off, and just makes the whole experience miserable. I’ve tried going to the bathroom before and during or putting a towel down, but it doesn’t help. I just can’t get over that full bladder feeling.
Is there a way I can get over this feeling? I don’t really care if a solution ends in an orgasm or not, I just want to get back to enjoying sex.
3 comments
Have you ever at all had that feeling while masturbating?
My guess, and very reinforced by your “Going to the bathroom before sex” note is that it sounds like you might be building up to ejaculate, either during an orgasm or from stimulation. In other words, you’re a squirter.
If you haven’t heard of that: some women experience a release of fluids during orgasm or other stimulation that can range from a surge of wetness to a spray of vaginal fluids almost as intense as a stream of urine.
You’ll hear a lot of BS from a lot of different angles about it (it’s just pee because blah blah) and while there is often some urea that comes along with it, it’s a distinct process, which you can feel for yourself if you empty your bladder before hand.
Now I do not personally possess the structures that you do, but speaking as someone who has a fair amount of experience on the “partner” side of people who squirt, my advice would be doing your best to try to overcome the uncomfortable/turned off feeling that it gives you. Whenever I’ve discussed it with partners they describe it as an intensely pleasurable feeling, so if you can work through the discomfort you might find it very pleasurable and that it might also be a step to being able to orgasm during sex or masturbation.
My advice would be try to create situations where you feel comfortable allowing yourself to actually release. Try masturbating or having sex in the shower or a bath tub if you find yourself worried about making a mess. You can also get “hospital sheets” that are waterproof that can remove the worry of getting your mattress all wet.
If you instead want to just try to avoid the feeling, for some people the type and angle of stimulation can make a difference. Some positions and types of penetration are much more likely to cause women to squirt than others are. Play around with the angle and position and you might find one that doesn’t prompt that reaction.
the “g-spot” is a structure that is often associated with squirting. you can feel it if you slide a finger up into your vagina and curl it about two inches in, rubbing along the “forward” wall. it’ll feel slightly rough, like the texture of a natural sponge. Reducing stimulation on that area might reduce the urge that you’re feeling.
I have a retroverted or tilted uterus so my bladder often feels the same ,its frustrating and it’s not a sexy feeling. I find my bladder is less overactive if I’ve eaten and I’m not passing urine because my body has nothing else in it if that makes sense. For me it isn’t often comfortable the needing to pee during sex and I’m not willing to carry on feeling like that during sex just because it’s now trendy to urinate or squirt during sex. For me when I have an orgasm it feels nothing like needing a wee so it’s not in connection like that for me. Sorry for the personal question but do you have a gynae or urology issue ? Because that may impact the way you feel during sex. Different positions as well impact on the way things feel during the act.