I met someone and we really like each other. Everything is going smoothly and great. I deal with anxiety a lot and whenever I get into a relationship, it turns into relationship anxiety. Even if things are fine, I start stressing out for literally no reason. Like I just feel this sense of doom and like I’m going to mess everything up somehow or that they will find out they dont actually like me. How do I talk myself down from these thoughts? Because I know they’re not true but the feeling is still there. And that feeling alone can sabotage relationships.
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**anxiety prevention tip:**
I think you’d likely benefit from practising ‘quiet times’ of 20-30 minutes of just sitting and Not dwelling on anything (a form of meditation). Very difficult at first (I needed to watch a DVD of nature scenes / a fireplace as an anchor/distraction to keep my mind from wandering). youtube has lots of fireplace videos. Others intone ‘mantras’ or focus on breathing.
There are several benefits: better sleep, easier days (upsets do not hit nearly as hard), and I think that likely after practising “not dwelling” on anything, you’ll have better control of your thoughts and acquire the ability to ‘turn off’ your anxiety reaction to situations.
At first doing this daily should work best. After awhile, only as needed. I’ve been doing this for about two decades and lately have only felt an urge to do it a half dozen days of the year.
A useful lesser calming practice is to do housework routines for say five minutes at a slower (70-80% rate) pace — a form of ‘walking meditation’, which you may find similarly soul refreshing.
I don’t know how to help this but just wanted to let you know your not alone. I’m.with my partner 5 years and have been so doubtful and insecure lately for no reason. Completely get what you mean by own anxiety can ruin a relationship it makes the anxiety worse on top of it! I hope you figure out something that works for you x
Whoopee Cushion