The difficult question: Is it over?

Like many people in this group, I have asked myself if my marriage with my husband is over. I’ve been convinced before that it is but have also felt it was a bad conclusion and we can still recover. I keep thinking it’s just a rough fucking patch and it will get better. Tonight is different though. If we don’t go into therapy, which given our schedules, isn’t likely to happen, our marriage is over. It’s hard to put into words but the thought of ending a 13-year relationship (married almost 7years) is difficult to grasp especially with a child involved. I do still hope to rebound from this but sadly I think I’m too hurt at this point. My husband is hurt too. But I think the difference between us is intention. He has talked down to me yet again yesterday by saying “you can’t do shit” after I tried to offer him help while he was frustrated. I’d add context but is there really any excuse to talk to someone that way? I can’t recall a time when I was as disrespectful to him. I know I’m not perfect but I’m certainly not an asshole.

Microaggressions are hurtful and damaging even if it’s only on occasion. I can’t be treated like shit because I’m afraid I’m going to continuously doubt myself. I just don’t want to live like that. And so here I am just realizing I want to move on. I want a divorce. Although I’m really fucking scared.