For context, I (F) have dated both men and women before. I’ve found that in previous relationships, men always say they feel so much more jealous over the idea of me with another man than with a woman. This can be in simple interactions with men, talking about past relationships or sexual experiences, etc. Do other men feel the same? Why? Is it like a sexual dominance thing? Have other people experienced the same thing?
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To be honest, I think it’s the focus around the penetration. They may feel that lesbian interactions are ‘harmless’.
I’ve experienced this same thing. My theory is it’s biological because of the drive to procreate.
Yeah. That’s my working hypothesis.
IMHO, men compare themselves to other guys and wonder what the attraction is to said guys. Compared to another woman, we know it is truly something that we cannot offer.
I would say dick inferiority + dominance + we compare ourselves to other men, we know we can’t compare ourselves with women, hence less jealousy (we also understand if you like women too, they’re beautiful compared to men)
So in short: because of male ego
I’d be jealous of either, though possibly more jealous if my partner cheated with a woman. I can’t offer everything a woman can offer, but I can be the bestest at who I am. ♥️
It’s definitely true. With an ex she used to kiss and touch other girls and I wouldn’t be bothered , but if another guy touched her arm I would be all raging inside.
I have no explanation why. I think I rationalised it as that she couldn’t get things from me she could get from women, so it’s not like she was choosing them over me .
As a male who experiences feeling jealousy I can tell you that jealousy is irrational. I think we all know this. I’ve learned not to act out of jealousy but the feeling still pops up. Not much I can do about that. I don’t choose to feel it.
9/10 men are territorial towards other men
Its like a biological thing to feel threatened by other men but not women as again most men will probably want their gf/wife to bring back women for some fun
I’m this way as well. I’m much more jealous of men spending time with my fiancé than women. Maybe it’s because I’m suspect of the guy’s intentions, I’m not completely sure.
Most men are fuckin stupid. There is absolutely no reason to be jealous of someone’s past lovers.
The fetishization of wlw has something to do with it.
Simple: a woman’s body is completely different from a man’s, so I’m not jealous of the woman because I can provide a different experience than that woman and she can provide a different experience than I can – I don’t perceive one as “better” than the other.
With other men, we have the same equipment, so if you prefer another man, it means that I / my body have “lost” to that man in a sense. We both have the same equipment, but there was something about their equipment / sexual tendencies that you considered better.
Perhaps they can only relate to other men and so that is the experience they understand.
If no one else has said it yet, here’s the head shaking reality: A lot of guys think girl/girl sex is hot. Not sure if it’s compersion per se, but they get off thinking about it. Some even fantasize about being in a Threeway with their gf and another woman. (Which is a bit self centered on the guy’s pleasure) They don’t feel competitive because they don’t actually see it as a “real” relationship. But other guys are seen as competition.
Society, biology.
I’d bet a few bucks that this has evolutionary reasons. As others have said, other men come with the risk of pregnancy, while women don’t. So seeing your partner with a man would trigger more subconscious mate-guarding behavior than seeing them with a woman. There’s also definitely a bit of internalized biphobia involved, since WLW relationships are typically viewed as less legitimate than straight ones, and thus would induce less jealousy.
I don’t get jealous as much as I feel inferior which makes no sense because I am just as capable of approaching, and keeping a woman as any other man. Pretty much I don’t really get jealous as much as I get discouraged 🤔
Men don’t want to try to be women in order to compete with a woman to be someone’s girlfriend.
If they do, then they need to take a step back and see if they’re not actually trans women.
This is just because men compete with each other over masculinity, they don’t see women as a threat because they deem masculinity to trump femininity. Even if they’re not homophobic they are taught to internalise that a straight relationship trumps a gay relationship for a bisexual woman so they’re more inclined to feel jealous of another man. They think that man has more power and it’s also just that men are incredibly competitive with each other over masculinity and dominance.
We’re not in competition with women. A woman would be offering something essentially different than I can.
There is a certain suspension of comparison when another woman is involved.
Whether consciously or subconsciously, a man knows that a woman is “different” and not much to be compared to. So, legitimately or not, jealousy does not rear its ugly head. Most of the time. I can almost guarantee this is because at this point, the man is only thinking of “physical” attributes.
Now, I can also almost guarantee that if/when you were to get into the deeper emotional connection that you had with a past female partner, that indeed the man would get jealous. Because now an aspect of desire that he can be compared to has come up.
You see it all the time with threesomes. Husband could care less about the other female when it is purely physical. Until his wife starts hanging out with the other female and they become closer. Then jealousy rears its ugly head.
Your pussy belongs to him so Maybe he’s not the sharing type lol…
I absolutely understand and feel this way when I think about my wife. Imagining my wife with a woman just isn’t the same as imagining her with a man. To be completely clear, both would be cheating if done without consent, and I would be upset regardless. It’s just that if I imagine a scenario where we have a FFM threesome, or she has sex with a woman where I can watch, it just doesn’t immediately fill me with the same sense of revulsion that her having sex with another man does.
I think part of it is just sexual preference. I am attracted to women. The idea of having sex with two women is inherently not unattractive, and women experiencing pleasure is an extreme turn on for me. I am not attracted to men, it’s just not how I’m wired and that’s just how I am.
I also think there’s an element of feeling inadequate with one scenario that doesn’t hit the same as the other. Her having sex with a woman, a woman is fundamentally different from me. If she wants to play with boobs or perform cunnilingus well she can’t exactly do that with me. However I in theory have all the same tools as any other man, and the idea that I might not be satisfying enough is inherently hurtful (even if it isn’t true or whatever).
My wife and I have talked about this before when discussing our sexual interests and things we might be willing or interested in exploring. She is definitely more on the bisexual side, and is attracted to women and men. I am not. I would be ok with a FFM or FMF threesome if it was with the right person, but I just can’t be ok with a MFM one. If the thought experiment made me uncomfortable, the real thing wouldn’t go well. I imagine a lot of men feel the same way.
I think this is perfectly explainable from an evolutionary point of view
Its based in misogyny, a lot of men don’t view lesbian relationships as “real” so how could they be a real threat to their dominance
Yeah I felt similarly when I was hooking up with a bi guy. Hearing about him hooking up with guys didn’t bother me, but I always felt a pang of jealousy when I found out he hooked up with another girl.
Something like you can’t provide what the opposite sex does, so it feels less like competition.
My wife is very jealous about me with other women, but not at all about me with other men.
I don’t have jealousy with her with either.
I think it’s an insecurity and being straight thing.
She is straight, so doesn’t really understand bisexuality.
She is a little insecure which causes jealousy.
Whereas me, sex isn’t love, I don’t internally mix those, so I don’t have jealousy regarding either, but if she cheater, I would feel identical regardless what sex it was with
It’s an insecurity issue. Most men feel that if their significant other is hanging out with another man, they feel inferior and have to be possessive and jealous as they want to keep their lover to themselves and not show them to the world. I was like that, and then I realize that I was inferior because of said jealousy, as she does not want any of her lovers to feel jealousy towards each other.
I’ve realized this while trying to find myself and realize that I am AroAllo (Aromantic-Allosexual), and I really do not need to show love and affection to have sex, it was and will be a long process to understand and compute, but I am all right with not having another relationship.