I(31M) broke up with my GF (26F) 2 months ago. She was my first relationship ever, dated for a year and lived together for few months. Things were so good in the beginning, a lot of great experiences and a lot of firsts with her. She was a great person, but as our relationship progressed we started having a lot of arguments over minor issues and miscommunications. She and I had different ways of showing affection for each other. Intimacy decreased. Nearing the end of the relationship, we both said things that hurt each other. It was me who had ended the relationship, as I was afraid that over the long term we both wouldn’t be happy. Even though it was rough, we dealt with it pretty well and ended on decent terms.
It’s been two months since I last spoke to her and I miss her a lot. Things have been pretty miserable. I think about her daily and I’ve been dying to text her, to say I am sorry and I miss her and wanting to try again. I’ve came across a lot of advice online that the urge is not because I miss my ex, but the idea of having someone and/or afraid of being alone.
How can I tell if I genuinely want to try again with my ex? Am I just scared of being alone? I am afraid that if I text her and she doesn’t reply it will wreck me even further.
7 comments
I would. Or you’ll always wonder ‘what if’ and that’s probably harder in the long run than her shooting you down
So you had an opportunity for a relationship and could not make it work.
Now you want to know if you can do the same thing again but get a different outcome.
The answer is you CAN do it again. IDK why since you already did it once and it didn’t work. But…Hey…..who am I? I could tell you its ill-advised and it will only prolong the hurt you feel from being rejected….
Go ahead…..give it a try. Its about the only way you are going to learn that its a mistake. FWIW.
I just wrote a God Damn essay here and it disappeared before I pressed send – anyone know if there is a drafts section here on Reddit? Ffs WHY
You should definitely try dating someone else first, even if it’s just for one date. You’ll find out soon enough if you’re just feeling lonely or you genuinely miss her.
Sounds to me like it is pretty much over and done. Of course you miss her, 2 months should be about the time when the memories of the bad stuff has faded, and you’re sitting there wondering what if with rose tinted glasses. It is the most natural feeling in the world, especially after your first relationship.
If you think about it realisticly, how many couples do you know that had a serious and hurtful breakup, then went back to eachother and everything is fine?
To me, the answer to this question is always “NO”.
Loneliness makes the past look sweet, but there is always a good reason why she is no longer your girlfriend… Never forget about it .
You could make contact with her. Your idea is that you want to know, what is going on in her life. If she is curious about you and your life, she would or might say yes. Your thought about re-establishing the relationship. Not likely. When something changes in either of your lives, it might happen.
An example, you were both students, each has now graduated and now have a full time [job](https://job.In). In two months, you have not changed much and neither has she. It didn’t work before and it’s not going to, just because you are lonely. Try to make some new friends, join a bowling league. or some other activity.
If you do not connect. It’s not a problem. Perhaps you start to play golf and become very good. You bump into each other and she says, I am surprised. Maybe, you could help me to improve my putting or chipping onto the green. She is showing an interest in you, because you are a different person. She is not interested in you, because you are lonely.