Ladies who are afraid of getting yelled at or others being mad at you, why are you afraid?

26 comments

1. History of trauma makes it very hard for me to trust that it’ll stop at a raised voice.

2. I grew up with an abusive father. Even at 32, I still flinch when someone yells, I just walk away. I don’t find the need to yell when I’m in disagreement with someone, and I expect the same from the other person.

3. Because of trauma. Verbally abusive family and teachers couldn’t stop yelling every day.

4. PTSD babey

5. i might have an idea of it but im not 100 percent sure

6. Bad associations with yelling, the fear response is how my body tells me not to make a potentially fatal mistake by sticking around.

7. Childhood

8. Childhood abuse. There was a lot of yelling (and more) in my home and I’m still afraid of it happening even with people who would never raise their voice at me.

9. Verbally abusive mother.

   With that said and regardless of my own history, I’m also “afraid” of getting yelled at because I think yelling at someone as a standard response to being upset is disrespectful. If you can’t get your point across without trying to intimidate me or shout me down, I’m out. I understand that we’re all human and that everyone is gonna be that person at some point, but I’m not dealing with someone who constantly will go from mildly annoyed to screaming in my face in 30 seconds. If that happens, I just stop listening and leave.

10. Repeatedly beaten as a child

11. My dad gives me a bigger jumpscare than five nights at Freddy’s when he randomly starts yelling so that’s scary. And I don’t rly know why I’m afraid of others being mad at me I just am

12. Traumas from my childhood.

    I’m in therapy now, but will always feel uncomfortable when people raise their voices in anger. As long as I stop freezing when it happens I’m good.

13. I’ve got a petite complexion. Expressions of violence make me extremely aware of that because I know I could be easily knocked out with a single blow. If someone is yelling at me, there’s no way they’ll listen to reason, and if I try to leave, they can get even angrier (or more violent). So being yelled at is a big warning trigger. I’m scared of getting physically hurt

14. Growing up in an abusive household. Someone doesn’t even have to yell at me, or anyone angrily. Any shouting makes me nervous. There is no conscious fear, it triggers traumatic spots subconciously.

15. I am overly sensitive and it’s hard for me to mentally deal with people yelling or being mad at me.

    It’s definitely something I need to work on.

16. On account of the fear.

17. History of trauma and childhood abuse. I am now a people pleaser at 35, trying my hardest to avoid conflict and it leaves me in uncomfortable situations.

18. Codependent and cpsd

19. I don’t like being yelled at

20. I don’t think it is normal to yell at each other in a relationship

21. Childhood of feeling intense shame and embarrassment that I’ve “disappointed” my family yet again by my actions or behavior.

    Yelling = I’ve done something to deserve the physical or verbal punishment to come.

    My boss has a temper and I literally wince when he’s yelling even if it’s not directly at me. Idk how he can’t read my body language and he doesn’t necessarily do this to everyone else so I also think he can subconsciously tell who he can get away with it on. Trauma is a real b***

22. I’m mostly afraid because I freeze in the moment when people yell and when it’s over I process what just happened and get very upset that I could do anything to help myself. That’s why I avoid confrontation’s because I know I will free … that’s what I’m afraid of each time

23. idk, still trying to learn from that. i always freeze up or get irrationally angry when someone yells at me. just makes me think that i don’t know what they’re gonna do next, in the heat of the moment.

24. Like many of the replies here, it’s the same for me. My heart starts beating faster and I get scared. Even when he is talking normally or laughing, it sounds like yelling (from behind closed doors). Is he about to hit someone? Is he coming for me? Will he abandon us? Will I become homeless? Will I be dead? I’m probably overreacting as he hasn’t hit me since I was like 5 or something. But men screaming around me absolutely freezes me.

25. Probably PTSD from childhood. Got screamed at a lot, and typically when I was being screamed at, I was also being smacked into oblivion.

26. Cos I have anxiety and EUPD, so I’m just constantly worried and anxious