Hi,
I am a freshman in university and I have terrible social anxiety. Like I can’t find friends to hang out with later after class and I can’t make a group. Like people have already made groups and when I try to talk to others they don’t seem very interested or I can’t get them to make me hang out with them in their group. Can anyone help??
8 comments
Don’t assume people aren’t interested, they are doing their own thing and have a lot going on too. I’d suggest asking people to hang out rather than being super passive and expecting others to ask you. It’s not very often people ask new people to hang out
Why should they be interested in hanging out with you? What is interesting about you? Instead of reaching for a handout bring them into your world & show them why you would be valuable/interesting as a friend.
I’m guessing semester has just begun so you can’t be there longer than a month, the groups already formed are unlikely to stick, my first semester in college I hung around with people I basically never spoke to again. You seem to be overthinking a bit and your anxiety is making you freak out. I have SA and made tons of friends in college, was quite popular in my group and had a really fulfilling experience.
Are you treating the anxiety?
Just find the list of clubs and join one. It’s the club facilitators’ job to be welcoming, and some clubs may have such a small attendance that they’d love to see you every week. And nobody can reject you from showing up because the members have no say on who comes and doesn’t.
Then if you become a leader, then you can be the “cool guy” representing the club on campus and talking with strangers. And that’s how you make even more friends.
And try going to a local church. There are often people around our age there. And God helps guide us to where we need to be and who’s good for us.
The great thing about university is the proximity that prevents people from being closed off. It’s really not like many other experiences and I’d often notice people often just there and with you and it’s not so much a thing. I was never good at it but I noticed others would take advantage of this. You can kinda show up hardly knowing someone not even have to put effort just check out there space. Don’t hardly even have to interact don’t wear it out just for a little time and just dip out like nothing. It bridges alot gaps and will make you more approachable. I know this because it helped me to approach anyone who casually made their presence known to me.
Join a frat or sorority
Think of how fun it will be to explore the university by yourself and remember how great it feels to have so many possibilities. Read your fave book at the library. Find a cool coffee spot and hang there. If people don’t come to you, then they may think you don’t want to be bothered. Give it just a small shot saying you “like someone’s book” or “what’s the best coffee here?” That helped me.