i met my girlfriend (15f) about 9 months ago, and we have been dating for about 8 months now. at the time i started dating her, i believed i was bi. but i have been questioning this for years atp and i think i’ve finally realized that i am gay, and have no romantic/sexual attraction towards afab/mtf. this final realization really happened when i realized that i wasn’t attracted to my gf in the way i thought that i was. ever since i started dating her, it has always felt off, like there was a little battle in my head whether or not i loved her in that way. i knew i cared for her, and i loved her platonically (still do), but i had a hard time telling myself we were dating. i brought this up to her last night, and now we’re both stuck on where to go from this point forward. i don’t know whether or not to feel guilty about what i’ve done. any advice helps.
tldr: i started to date my gf when i believed i was bi, and i now have realized that i am gay after months of having a little battle in my head of whether or not i like her romantically. i’ve told her, and we’re now both stuck on where to go from here, and i don’t know how to feel about the decisions i’ve made by continuing this relationship during my uncertainty.
3 comments
There is nothing wrong with giving something a go and it not working out.
Break up. You can absolutely stay friends and spend time together, but romantically it isn’t going to work and trying to keep at it is just going to frustrate you both.
Congratulations on discovering more about yourself and have a wonderful time exploring that further!
Really tough situation!
I think we can agree that everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they are desired and loved and where their partner is attracted to them. Right?
And you can’t provide that to your girlfriend. No fault of either of yours– you’re just not attracted. So the thing to do is to end the relationship so that you can both be with people who light your fires.
Its SO hard ending something that is otherwise nice. But its not fair to HER that you get what you want from the relationship (a kind, supportive friend) and she DOESN’T get what SHE wants from the relationship (someone romantically/sexually attracted to her).
So, hard as it is, you have to end it. Maybe the two of you will still be able to stay friends! Its tough going through all of this self-discovery and sometimes there’s pain in the process of learning about yourself. But you’ve discovered something new about yourself, and you felt safe and comfortable enough to discuss it with your partner. And that’s all really lovely. So there may be pain in putting an official end to it, but it will benefit you both eventually.
Best thing is to break up and go your separate ways