Might be a bit of a long one.
My wife and i met 9 years ago online as most couples do now a days.
When we started dating she was fun always wanted to go out or do something.
We got pregnant four months into our relationship and we stuck it out together weve been thru alot but now 8 years after our son was born and two more kids….our marriage is now falling apart and i dont know what to do.
Our bedroom has been dead for months i work full-time and so does she but when we get home i do all the cleaning up and she grabs her ipad and plops down on the couch and thats where she stays for the night.
The whole rest of the night is me dealing with the kids, making dinner, getting everyone ready for bed and she doesnt look up once.
Every time i bring it up to her that i need help and if she could just put her ipad down for 5 mins, it turns into a screaming match of her explaining shes so tired and she just wants to relax when she gets home.
Im exhausted with it, i just do everything now and keep my head down and try and make it thru the day.
I dont know what to do anymore and im not sure how much longer i can stand this.
Ive started going back to gym which has taken my mind off things but sometimes when i get home from the gym she gives me stuff like “the kids woke up while you were gone or did you have fun playing around with girls at the gym” ive asked her to come with me but she always makes up some excuse as to why she cant or doesnt want to.
Im just done unfortunately.
Anyway sorry for ranting i needed to put it down somewhere to get it off my chest
2 comments
Has your wife been screened for depression at all? This sounds a lot like depression, the lack of motivation, the irritability, the lack of a sex drive, it sounds a lot like depression. Before throwing in the towel I would suggest getting her to go to counselling with a psychiatrist because it’s very possible she needs depression medication and management. If she refuses to get help, then you can think of other avenues. Nobody should have to do all the child rearing and cleaning, so I understand why you’re upset as that isn’t sustainable. But my money is on depression here. Y’all also really didn’t get to properly court each other long enough, as she got pregnant unexpectedly it sounds like. All that can put a strain on things and aggravate depression. Not to mention it could even be postpartum depression. Either way, she really needs to see a professional.
Im exactly like your wife. I need so much time to destress my brain from the psychological damage each day brings, and if I don’t I get really over stimulated and then break down. I’m diagnosed with depression. Some days it’s bad, some days not so. Can’t be easy on the other side either. Talk to her. She may very well need to get it off her chest.