I (M32), slightly above average, but not by much, met an absolute bombshell (F28) in an online dating app. She “liked” my profile and I responded. At first I honestly thought she was either a fake profile or simply looking to talk because she is absolutely gorgeous. Think similar looks to young Jennifer Connelly, but better. Amazing face, perfect body, a 10. And then I expected her to be one of be a one dimensional pretty girl. I seem to be wrong. She seems extremely down to earth and genuinely looking for something real. She’s also a nurse, very passionate about it, and really wants to have a family. We have been talking for about a week and now she wants to meet.
The problem is I’m feeling a bit, not so confident, because “she is so out of my league its like a different sport.” How can I project myself as confident and make a good first impression?
Ps. Im looking for a long term relationship and so is she. I’m not looking to waste my time or hers. Also all my pictures in my profile are mine and none of them have filters or photoshop, they are also not great pictures, they are me.
12 comments
Eh….come back and tell us how your first date goes. I’m putting my money on you setting up a meet and she demurs. It won’t be anything to do with you. Its just that a lot of these “to-good-to-bve-true” dating events are just contrived experiences designed by the App people to keep subscribers interested. Until you have actually had a meet and spent some time with a real flesh-and-blood person the chances are pretty good that you are just chasing a phantom. FWIW.
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Just try to get to know her for starts irl.
Well dressed, clean and good mannered is all you need I think.
The best advise I can give is don’t think of it as a ‘job interview’ (if that makes sense) and make sure the date is about getting to know each other (plus having fun and being comfortable).
I’m sure she has her reasons for wanting to meet you (maybe to check to see if you’re really the same online vs irl, vibe check etc.) so I’d just let it roll out naturally.
Also it’s totally okay to be nervous right now but don’t let that get ahead of her having a good date with you!
It’s fun to be excited. But you don’t know this person. The fact that you’re so hyped over a dating app match that you need to ask how to be confident means that you should take a step back and try to work a little more on yourself.
Ok. So she’s pretty and a really good person. Why would she be ‘out of your league”?
Imagine if looks weren’t the only thing that really mattered. Imagine yourself in her shoes, as a real person with needs and wishes rather than a pretty cardboard cut out. What might she be looking for?
So I don’t see a problem. Confidence. I went out with a girl who looked like the local traffic girl. We went out twice and it wasn’t a connection. No big deal but if you go out with this girl and come across with zero confidence she will not want to go out again
Don’t mess this up
Don’t tell her “you’re out of my league.” I’ve heard this from nearly every man I’ve been with and I don’t see it as a compliment. Maybe you mean purely physically, but she sees something in you and wants to meet! Be confident in what you have to offer her, which I’m sure is a lot, but please don’t say anything that can be interpreted as “you can do better, why me?”
Own the fact that a stunning woman with a good personality viewed your profile (where people essentially solely evaluate others based off of physical appearance), and wants to get to know you more. You are already beyond where many other men probably wish they could get with this woman just by being yourself. You have no reason not to go in with confidence!
It’s online. This fabulous dame picked you, sir. Out of hundreds. You must be pretty cool.
Be a little smug about that. A little cocky.
Good luck! Also only compliment her appearance once when you meet. “You look great!” Then do not mention it again.
Dude, I don’t think I’m good looking, but the woman I’m seeing has told me that I’m a heart throb. Now I know I’m good looking to someone, time for me to feel the same about myself and own that shit.
Fake it till you make it applies here as well.
Look, there’s no reason you’re not supposed to be on that date. You’ve also worked hard to get where you are and even if you’re not as attractive as her, that’s more than fine.
I just left 2 airports and saw a bunch of these mismatches.
I also have these girls kinda fall into my lap on occasion, but maybe not quite a Jennifer Connelly.
Take advantage of the baby fever and babytrap her. Jk.
Just take a deep breath, positive self talk, and be LIGHT and ENJOYABLE on the date.. and be a gentleman. If she wants a family she’ll want a gentleman.