I (23F) and my (22M) boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. I recently found a folder in his phone with a collection of selfies and bikini pictures of girls from our town. Some of them were even of his female friends and there was also a picture of his cousin. I confronted him about this and he admitted that he jerks offs to them. He said that its not a big deal and that every man does it and that all his friends also have a collection. I told him that it makes me really uncomfortable walking around and seeing these girls in public knowing that he has sexual fantasies about them. He said that because he didn’t do anything physical and didn’t message any of them, he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. Is this normal for men ? Am I overreacting?
TL;DR : my bf jerks off to other girls and it makes me uncomfortable
5 comments
This is 100% not okay and is not normal behavior. I’m assuming he found the photos online and the girls didn’t send them to him? If that is the case, that is very creepy and i’m sure the girls would be very uncomfortable knowing some random guy is jerking off to them. This is very different than watching porn because these are real people in your town that you sometimes have to see/interact with. Also, the fact that he jerks off to his cousin is deeply disturbing. This would be breakup worthy for me. Wish you the best
He’s gaslighting you. Awful that he has these pics to begin with with unknown origins/consent but the cousin thing is especially weird. I don’t care that my bf jerks off to porn but if I found a folder of people that we knew… it would not be okay with me. He doesn’t need to physically (or even emotionally) cheat for you to decide he has crossed a boundary. If it feels yucky to you, that’s because it is- especially his lack of shame around this.
No you’re not over reacting, you need to get out of there and let him keep it out of his pants
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You need to leave this person as fast as possible in my opinion. That is scary, and the most scary part is that he tries to convince you it’s ‘normal’…. it’s not. Run Forest, Run!! 🏃🏽♀️