Random Story Time, What’s the Random Story you have for us tonight?

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  2. Tonight, wife is out with our 13 year old daughter. She texted that she, our daughter, has the Stones’ “Beast of Burden” on her play list. I feel all my hard work of showing her the correct path, is finally paying off.šŸ˜­

  6. Principal locked me in the bathroom in high school

    Also I knocked myself unconscious with my own ski pole while skiing

  7. I made eye contact with Kevin Sussman (big bang theory) on a subway in Boston and KNEW I recognized him from somewhere. Like a year later it hits me who he is.

  8. A kid in my freshman Spanish class had a dad who was a plastic surgeon. He somehow got his hands on a breast implant and several of us tossed it between each other when the teacher’s back was turned just for a laugh.

  9. Tldr: texted my boss something very inappropriate

    We were drinking at a friends house and we sit down to to play a game. Turned out it was a ruthless game because my first card i pick after just pouring a huge drink was “chug your drink or text a co worker you had sex with your boss”.

    Well i obly have 2 co workers on this jobsite, one does it party (lets call him james). And the other is on the spectrum. Its also 2am btw. ‘Well only one of them might find this funny…’ So l text james “long story short bro i banged your boss”.

    I get a text the next day saying “this text wasnt meant for me was it?” And i didnt reply because i thought it would be a better story to tell in person at work.

    So i go in and say “hey James so about that text, so we were drinking and-”

    “What text?”

    “The one i sent you on fri night about banging your boss?…”

    “You sure you sent that to me and not another James?”

    And it was like the floor went out from me.. He shares the same name with our main boss in the head office. Turned out big boss knew it was some shenanigans and thought it was pretty funny.

  10. The book I am currently finishing up, I was considering this for the blurb on the back cover:

    Angel had her life down to a simple formula. Do her work, do her research, and do what was asked of her. The mission she signed up for was supposed to be a dull but enlightening opportunity for her to get experience and possibly make important scientific breakthroughs on the way.

    However, everything changes when the ship gets pulled onto a newly discovered planet. Now they are trapped with no way to leave, no way to contact home, and a looming threat of an enemy they don’t understand.

    A young man presents a possible offer of help, but he is as dangerous and mysterious as the planet itself. Who is this man called The Defiler? What is the Conclave? Why are the people of the planet so familiar? The crew of the Forerunner pursue the answers to these questions as they explore an alien world and try to find a way home.

  13. In the Dreamtime, long before the Whitefellas came to Australia and fucked the whole thing up, in what is now called Papua New Guinea.

    The tribe’s been living there for a while, things are alright. But this one storm comes up while old mate is out fishing and blows him way south. Way, way south. He’s hanging on for dear life, the winds are blowing and the rains are falling, he barely survives. After a whole day of this the sky clears as the storm blows away and he’s looking at the promised land. Clear beaches, beautiful trees, fish jumping everywhere in the water. Old mate beaches the canoe and eats his weight in fruit and fish to recover, then spends the day and night watching the sun and the stars. From that he works out which way is home, loads up the canoe and spends the next two days sailing home.

    At home, he tells *everybody* about how great the place he found is. Everyone is interested and they all want to move over for the better food and fishing except for old man Whale. Now Whale is old, and he’s *big*. Man has a custom made canoe that’s three times the size of anybody else’s just to hold him up. So, the tribe wants to use Whale’s canoe to help carry all their stuff to the new land, but Whale doesn’t want to come. Easily solved, they’ll just steal it.

    On the morning of the great departure, Whale’s friend Starfish offers Whale a massage. So Starfish leads him into the forest a bit and gets him to lie down and starts work. Meanwhile everybody else just loads up all the canoes and gets ready to fuck right off. Starfish wants to go too, so he’s set himself up in a spot where he can see when they leave and knows when to go get his own canoe, but when he sees everybody else leaves he gets distracted and Whale realises something is wrong. Whale jumps up and sees somebody in *his* canoe and flies into a rage. He beats on Starfish, smashing big holes in his limbs and then runs down to the beach and just dives in the water and swims after those canoe thieves.

    Somebody spots the splash when Whale jumps in the water and the word goes up the line, everybody is paddling for their lives. The race is on. But Whale isn’t the fittest in the tribe and over the day and night and next day he can’t catch up so the tribe makes it safely to the southern land, and dragged all their gear and canoes up off the beach while Whale circles in the distance, occasionally blowing great gouts of water and air in his rage.

  14. This past weekend I was in the countryside with some friends at one of my friends country houses. Another friend of mine brought a neighbor of his who is completely 100% blind. Ends up this blind guy’s hobby/passion is driving cars – every year or so he organizes a special event for blind people in which they can drive cars in a safe manner at some sort of track. Since we were in the middle of nowhere my friend decided to let the blind guy drive his car around on an isolated backroad. As a result I was a passenger in the back seat of a car driven by someone who is blind and while we didn’t go very fast – it was quite fun.

  16. I was at a bar called the Moonlighter or something like that in Honolulu with buddies.

    My OIC was on the other side of the bar with his group. I told the bartender to surprise me with her choice of a drink and she obliged. It was blue and had a big slice of pineapple on the top.

    Everyone roasted me for getting ā€œ a girly drinkā€.
    I remember being embarrassed by the laughter of my peers and the smirks of my superiors, but I also noticed the slowly fading smile on the bartenders face.

    It was a moment. I was in literal paradise, but the opinions of my present crushed the potential of a different tomorrow. I felt foolish and she felt set up to be the punch line of a bad joke I laughed at too because I felt the need to save face somehow.

    I may have been awkward and insecure, but my social circle in the military strangled my personality and it would take years to repair the ship of Theseus.

  17. I went to this alt rock rager during the summer. It was in June or July at this venue 30 minutes from me. I went there since I heard about it on the radio that week. When I got there I had to pay an entry fee, I got a wrist band and walked in. I went in with my phone charger since my phone was low on battery. I got a table by the bar. I plugged my charger into the outlet by the table and let my phone charge. I started talking to this one guy who I assumed was there as an audience member. Anyway we started talking and the guy couldnā€™t have been nicer. He had the same philosophy as me, (my philosophy is weā€™re all human so why do we gotta hate each other). I noticed he has an accent and I asked him where he is from. He told me he is from Israel and how he lived in New York for some time before moving to Pennsylvania. I asked him how he got to the event since it happened in Illinois. Thatā€™s when he told me he is the drummer for Marcy Playground and I was speechless! He was super down to earth and just a good guy all around.

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